


I Keep My Love In a Photograph

by MewGulf_Soulmates



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), WaanjaiMewGulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Farmboy Gulf, Historical References, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Prepare your heart pls, Researcher Mew, Romantic Fluff, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MewGulf_Soulmates/pseuds/MewGulf_Soulmates
Summary: Before World War II, in 1940s, Mew is a half British agricultural researcher who visited Thailand (Siam at that time) for his study.Gulf is an innocent and clumsy farm boy who lives with his parents and siblings. To earn some money for his family, he agreed to help the research team from Britain visiting their village. He only knows a little english but fortunately, Mew knows fluent Thai and able to communicate with him. They formed a great friendship and a little more. When WWII starts in mid 1940s, Siam had allied with Japan and it caused the British and other foreigners in Siam to return to their home countries. Mew and Gulf promised each other they will meet again before Mew had to leave the country. Will fate be kind enough for them to meet again? What is going to happen to the beautiful love story of two boys who met each other at the wrong time? Will they be able to overcome all adversaries and keep their promises?
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 20
Kudos: 102





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters are fictional. The plot is my original idea but for some scenes, I may have referenced some movies or books. History and Timeline would be inaccurate since I did not really do deep research on the history about WWII but I tried to stick to the set-up in that era. English is not my first language so I apologise in advanced for grammar and spelling mistakes. I also would like to ask your understanding if there are sensitive issues in my AU that you might feel uncomfortable to read. I’ll try to give warnings as much as possible. Update may be inconsistent but I will try my best to update often. Feel free to give me feedback and suggestions. Thanks everyone. :)  
> P.S This is my first AU and I cant believe I’m doing this. The things MewGulf made me do is beyond my understanding now. Also, feel free to interact with me on twitter to cry about MewGulf together.  
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

“It’s hot”, Mew said while trying to balance the two luggage he brought with him. James, his colleague and a close friend rolled his eyes at his friend’s remark. “It’s Siam, of course, it’s hot”. He continued, “But our university arranged a place for us with air-conditioning. And the villages we are visiting near the capital won’t be as hot as here with all the trees.” “Well, they better be. Or else I’ll evaporate before I finish my study”, Mew chuckled while wiping the drops of sweat on his forehead with back of his hand. “Are we taking the Jeep to our place?”, Sara, his another colleague asked Kom, the local guide who accompanied them from the airport. Kom answered, “Yes, ma’am. We are taking the Jeep. It took about 45 minutes to the bungalow rented for your team. It’s not a big place but it’s really beautiful”. “Do you need help with these luggage, Sir?” Kom asked Mew. Mew gave him a kind smile and said. “ It’s ok, you can help the other. I can take them on my own.” Kom smiled back and went out to help the others’ luggage.

Kom is a bubbly tanned skin boy who speaks fluent English. He speaks nonstop about Siam and the villages they’re visiting, how people are helpful and polite, how tasty the food are and so on. Mew thought he already knows everything about Siam through Kom’s talks. But he tried to engage more conversation with the boy and when Kom found out he can speak Thai, he was amazed. Mew explained he could speak a little Thai ever since young because of his mother’s ancestral heritage. But he studied Thai hard 2.5 years before coming because he wanted to learn more about the culture and people. Needless to say, Mew was Kom’s favourite person to talk to throughout the road trip from airport. The team arrived to the lovely bungalow Kom couldn’t stop talking about and everyone was surprised to see Kom wasn’t even exaggerating. The place was truly cozy and beautiful.

(Mew's Bungalow Visual)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1242576276885553157/photo/1>

Mew’s research team has five people, James and Sara are a couple who are studying forestry science, Edward is the team leader who is studying rural development and Mew is studying soil science. Daniel is an assistant for everyone. He is also taking care of note-taking, taking photos and taking care of their daily necessities. After arriving at the bungalow, Edward gave the team 2 hours to rest and freshened up before visiting the nearby village they were assigned to do their respective studies. “We wont have enough time to return before sundown if we depart late. So, all of you better be here in two hours and we can have lunch at the village.”, Edward firmly told the team who collectively groaned because everyone was dead tired from the long trip. Mew quickly went in to the room he was assigned, took out a pair of shorts and a towel from his small luggage, stripped all his sweaty clothes and took a quick shower in an attached bathroom. He thought of napping for an hour before departing to the village.

Mew woke up to someone banging his door and he sat up trying to shout at whoever dared to disrupt his precious sleep. Then, he remembered, they needed to gather at the living room to depart to the village. He quickly got up and opened the door, facing a slightly concerned looking Kom. Kom spoke to him in Thai, “Sir, we need to depart in about 5 minutes. Everyone is waiting for you.” Mew felt a headache creeping up but he fought it and told Kom to tell everyone to wait 5 more minutes for him. He tried to hurriedly dressed up and stuff the notebooks etc in his bag and headed out to the living room. He saw everyone waiting for him and he apologised profusely. But his colleagues were understanding and even told him he can stay home if he felt unwell. He told them he’s ok. He could join today since it is only an introduction to the village chief and the people helping them get the data for their research. They wouldn’t need to do any fieldwork and he thought it was important to know people he was going to work together before the actual fieldwork tomorrow.

The village is not too far away fortunately and he tried to get some sleep on the way. Sara offered him a painkiller and he thanked her, telling her he would take it after lunch at the village. When they arrived the village, he was pleasantly surprised and even felt his headache retreating due to fresh air and beautiful scenery. They gathered at the Village Chief house and talked for a while. Mainly Edward was talking to the chief and Kom was the translator. Then he saw a group of young boys walking over to them. They were ordinary village boys with village clothing and tanned skin. From the group, he couldn’t help but noticed a tall boy with prominent nose and bambi eyes. He was truly beautiful and innocent looking.

When they reached to them, they greeted the village chief in Thai. Kom introduced the two other boys’, Pat and Chak. Both of them could speak good English and introduced themselves well to the research team. Then, at the bambi boy turn, he looked shy and muttered a short intro with poor English. Mew heard his name is Gulf. Kom looked at them apologetically and said, “This is my friend Gulf. He actually cannot speak English well. We can speak English because all of us attended the free Sunday school from nearby church but Gulf has to work for his family. So he didn’t have time to attend school. But he can read and write well in Thai. He can even read English, he just cant speak well. He is my good friend and I can guarantee he has the best knowledge about soil and forest since he worked with his father a lot on farmlands.”

Mew tried to stop Kom’s panic blabbering by speaking in Thai and said “It’s ok, Kom. I understand you want us to have the best suitable assistants. Since he knows a lot about soil, he will be working with me. I can speak good Thai, so I don’t think language is an issue as long as he knows what he is doing” Mew said. The bambi boy seemed to be surprised to hear perfect Thai from a foreign-looking person and his eyes went even wider if that’s possible. He spoke something softly and Mew didn’t catch what it was. “Are you saying something, Gulf?” Mew asked. Gulf looked at him and said in Thai softly albeit a little louder than last time, “I will work hard. I won’t disappoint you.” Mew looked at him in the eyes, smiled and said, “Thank you. We hope we can get along well too since we will be working for months”. The boy looked flustered after looking at Mew’s eyes and nodded, trying to avoid eye contact with Mew at all costs. His face turned red and Mew was amused to say the least.

The team discussed with the village chief for another half hour or so and headed out to have lunch. The three boys were briefed and assigned respectively according to their expertise. Pat was assigned to James and Sara and Chak, Edwards. Of course, Gulf was assigned to Mew. Kom would be mostly working together with Daniel for communicating with the city and other necessary stuff. On the way to the lunch place, Mew was trying to engage some conversation with Gulf since all of them were walking together. Mew found the boy was so tight-lipped and only spoke a little whenever Mew asked him something. But once Mew started talking about his study, soil science, he could see Gulf eyes lit up and started asking questions. He mentally noted this must be Gulf’s passion and he was thankful he got an assistant who had the same passion. He already felt very positive about the success of his study.

Once they reached the lunch place, Mew already felt his headache creeping back. So, he ate only a little and took the medicine. At the side, he could see Gulf inhaling the food looking like a chipmunk and Mew tried hard not to smile to not embarrass the boy. After a few minutes of eating and chit-chatting, Mew sensed Gulf eyeing his plate of unfinished food. He looked at Gulf and whispered to the boy, “Do you want more food? Are you still hungry?” Gulf looked tensed but he looked at Mew timidly and said, “Can I pack this food and bring it back to my brother and sister? They really like this dish.” Mew felt sympathetic to the boy who seemed to have a big heart and really caring towards his family. Mew smiled gently and nodded while asking the waiter to pack the remaining food.

While coming out of the restaurant, the research team say goodbye to everyone to go back to their place. Kom said he would stay back at the village to do some work but he would come to their house in the morning to pick them back. While the rest were talking, Mew approached Gulf and handed the packed food without anyone noticing. The boy took it gratefully with a shy smile and thanked Mew profusely. Without realising why, Mew patted Gulf’s head and told him it is ok. The research team called out Mew and he climbed on the Jeep to head back to their bungalow. On the way, Mew couldn’t stop thinking about the farm boy he just met. He tried to find the answer but there’s nothing but the fuzzy warm feeling inside his chest. Mew thought, “I really need to take a rest to chase away this tiredness messing with my head.” And he fell asleep on the jeep all the way back home.

(Gulf's Village Visual)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1242578509861736454/photo/1>


	2. Getting to Know Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please follow and interact with me on Twitter to cry about MewGulf together.  
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

Mew felt refreshed and energized after a good night sleep yesterday and he woke up early even before the sunrise. He took out a book he was reading and headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. He headed outside of the house and could see the sun peeking out turning the sky orange colour. He sat down on the chair under the tree and continued reading about Microbes that are important for healthy soil. He didn’t know how long did it take, but he heard the sound of the engine of the jeep and saw Kom inside. And he couldn’t help but noticed Gulf sitting beside Kom. Mew waved at them when they came out from the Jeep. “Hello Sir”, both the boys greeted him in Thai. He laughed and said, “Hello Gulf and Kom, maybe two of you should stop calling me Sir, you can call me Mew, you know?”. Kom looked alarmed and said, “ I don’t think we should. You might be a bit older than us and you are our boss so it’s not appropriate.” Mew suddenly remembered his Thai cultural lessons by his auntie. “Ah, sorry I forgot about this. Then, you can call me P’Mew. Sir is too formal and doesn’t match with my youthful look, don’t you think?”, Mew lightheartedly joked. Both the boys have no choice but agreed to call him that.

“By the way, why are you here so early? And why is Gulf coming with you?” Mew asked curiously. “Oh, Daniel asked me to come early to help running some errands. Gulf offered to help since he doesn’t have farming work today. I hope you don’t mind him coming here”, Kom said unsurely. Mew quickly explained, “Of course not! I’d love Gulf to come here. Thinking of that, Gulf, don’t you say you like soil science?”. The ever-silent bambi boy was immediately alert, looked at Mew and nodded. “I was reading this book and I found some interesting thing I want to tell you so we can use it when we go out in the forest to gather soil samples.” Mew said. “Then, let me go and find Daniel first. You can stay here Gulf. I will ask you when I need your help”, Kom said and went inside to look for Daniel.

“Sit down Gulf. Do you want some tea?” Mew asked the boy who was eyeing the book curiously. “Huh?” Gulf asked. Mew laughed a little at the boy who looked always lost in his own world. “I asked if you want some tea”, “Ah, no thank you sir..” , Mew side-eyed him and Gulf remembered, “I-I mean P’Mew, w-what is this book about?” he asked. Mew was amused with the boy and tried to explain some basic information from the book to the boy. He listened earnestly and asked occasional questions he was curious about. The time had flied so fast and he saw Kom approaching them. “Sorry to disturb you. Daniel said we need to depart in about an hour so you should eat breakfast now and start preparing soon. We also need Gulf’s help to move some equipment inside the truck that is coming soon”, Kom told Mew. Mew acknowledged him and turned to Gulf saying, “Let’s continue next time. By the way, have you both had your breakfast?” Mew asked. Kom nodded and answered, “Yes, I had it with my family before coming.” But Gulf was quite so Mew asked him again. “I usually have breakfast and lunch together so I’m not used to having breakfast”, he answered bashfully. Kom and Gulf left to do their work and Mew went inside for breakfast.

After breakfast, Mew saw there were some sandwiches left, he immediately remembered Gulf and he asked Daniel if he could pack some for Mew. Daniel was confused but he did as per Mew’s request. When Mew and the team came out, there was a truck to carry the research equipment to the village. Kom said the team would be on the Jeep and Gulf would be on the truck since there was no enough space on the Jeep. When everyone was going inside the Jeep, Mew quickly jogged to Gulf who was climbing the back of the truck and handed him the paper bag with the sandwiches inside saying, “I got some sandwiches for you. You should snack on them on the way. It’s not good to skip breakfast,” he said and ran back to the Jeep leaving flustered Gulf behind. When he went inside the Jeep, he saw Daniel staring at him from the corner of his eyes but he didn’t pay much attention and settled in.

**Time Skip to a Few Weeks**

Over the course of few weeks, Mew got to know Gulf better. The introverted boy had opened up more about himself and his family. Mew learned Gulf has two siblings, a younger sister and a younger brother. His father is a farmer but they don’t have their own farmland so they work for other people. Daily wages are minimal but the family could survive on it. Gulf had been working together with his father since a tender age of 12. When his mother fell sick one day and they needed extra money for her medicine, he decided he would share the burden with his parents as an eldest child of the family. He learned reading and writing both Thai and English until 12 at school. After quitting school, he tried to learn by himself with the help of Kom. He was always insecure about his ability in English but Mew encouraged him and borrowed him books about soil science that are easy to read. Mew learned Gulf skipped breakfast because he usually work in farmlands early morning before meeting Mew to help with his research. After learning that, it had become a habit for Mew to bring some breakfast for Gulf everyday and Gulf would deny it a few times. But eventually, he accepted with a shy smile and a soft thank you. Daniel questioned him one time why he was always packing breakfast and Mew told him he gave it to Gulf. Daniel looked at him strangely but dismissed it without asking further questions.

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” Mew asked when he noticed some scratches on Gulf’s hand while walking to the farmlands in South to collect soil samples. “Oh, Ju scratched me when I tried to pick him up.” Gulf answered. “Who is Ju?” Mew asked curiously. “Ju is our family cat. He is a little brat but he’s cute,” Gulf answered and gave Mew his rare but oh so precious all-teeth smile. Mew automatically smiled and said, “He sounds like a cute cat.” Gulf nodded. “P’Mew, do you see the farmlands there? That’s my favourite area to work,” Gulf suddenly said out of nowhere when they walked past certain areas of farmlands. Mew was surprised and asked why that place is Gulf’s favourite area. Gulf answered, “Because those are Kale (Kana in Thai) and that’s my favourite vegetable! We usually got some free Kale whenever we work there and the owners of those farms are so nice”, he answered carefree like a child. Mew noticed this is the first time Gulf initiated a conversation and thought amusedly, “He must have really loved Kale” and smiled.

The next day, they scheduled to meet earlier to go inside the deep part of the forest to examine the land areas and get some samples. Mew got up extra early and packed both breakfast and lunch for him and Gulf. A day before, when Mew told Gulf he would bring breakfast and lunch for both, Gulf insisted he could bring himself lunch. But Mew gave some excuses like there were so much leftover food in the bungalow and it was really not a burden. Only then Gulf reluctantly agreed. But in reality, Mew had to do request to Daniel to prepare more food for him since they usually only cook enough to avoid wasting food. During the walk, Gulf navigated the area since he’s been there before. Usually, Gulf was the clumsy boy but in the forest, he took extra care of the path because he had to make sure Mew was safe. For Mew, he was distracted with scenery, chipping birds and sounds of water flowing.

When they were crossing a narrow river, he looked around. Mew felt like he was in a romantic novel and a strange thought came inside his mind. “When I get married, I would like to marry in a forest,” Mew let his mind roamed free. Then he tried to picture himself in a suit waiting for his bride at the altar. There would be a priest and a flower arch. And he imagined his bride walking to him. But instead of a beautiful girl with a white dress, he saw a halo of a stature of a boy with a suit holding a bouquet. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and tried to chase away the thought. When he opened his eyes, he saw Gulf looking back at him curiously. When he realized the boy in his imagination was Gulf, his eyes wide opened due to shock and he lost balance falling down inside the river.

(This is the visual of the forest MewGulf walked)  
<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1242875929149480960>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't know how to post photos and videos so I linked them to my twitter posts. They are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	3. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Warning: Homophobia//  
> I felt like it needed to be clarified that "homosexuality" was considered outlawed under Buggery Act 1533 in Britain during 1940s and punishable by death. This info is essential to understand Mew's character mentality.
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

“P’MEW!”, Gulf shouted and tried to help him stand up from where he’d fallen. Fortunately, the river was shallow, but his whole body was wet from the fall. His bag was soaking wet too and he was worried about the notebooks inside. “ _I’m a bloody fool. How could I daydream at a place where I should be looking out for potential danger?_ ” Mew thought and blamed himself. “Are you ok, P’Mew?”, he heard Gulf asked him with concern. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m worried about my notebooks”, Mew answered and walk towards the ground wobbly. Gulf followed him and they sat down on the ground to check Mew’s bag. Luckily, the notebooks were ok since the bag was made of special material. While checking the bag, Gulf suddenly grab his hand. Mew flinched and took his hand out of Gulf. Alerted, Mew asked, “What are you doing Gulf?”. Gulf blinked his eyes several times, looking confused, and pointed at Mew’s hand saying, “Your hand is bleeding. I have medicine. Let me find it in my bag.” “No. It’s ok, I have bandage. I can put it on,” Mew dismissed Gulf and looked for bandages inside his bag. He put the bandage on himself although with difficulty. Gulf constantly offered to help but Mew kept saying he’s ok and he could do it himself. Mew told Gulf, “We should go back for today. I don’t want to get sick because of wet clothes and I need to treat this wound too.” Mew couldn’t look Gulf in the eyes but he heard a soft ‘ok’.

On the way back, Mew was very quite and focused on not falling down again. Gulf being Gulf, didn’t initiate any conversation and navigated the way silently. Gulf was giving Mew occasional confused and worried glances but Mew kept his eyes on the path. In his mind, Mew was a mess. He was already slightly panicking and he just wanted to go back to the bungalow and have a nap to chase way this tight feeling in his chest. At the village, Mew gave Gulf the lunch he packed and told him he could rest for today and Mew would be heading back to the bungalow. Gulf looked at him a bit worried but he agreed and stayed back while Mew walked towards the Jeep. When he arrived at the bungalow, Mew thanked Kom because Kom had to go back to pick the rest up after dropping Mew.

Inside his room, he removed the wet clothes and put them in the laundry basket, took a towel and went inside the bathroom. Under the shower, Mew’s thoughts wondered back to what happened at the forest. He felt conflicted and confused. He knew he likes women. He dated a few when he was a student. He had sex countless times before and he even dared to assume he might have loved some of his exes. But he never felt like this before. He was not a player but with other people, he never thought about a life with them or marrying them. Most of his relationships were short-lived and one of the culprits could be his job. He loves his job so much and other things in his life were trivial compared to his job. At least, until Gulf came. He tried to think of a time when his research is fully occupying his thoughts and he found out in alarm that Gulf has been on his mind as much as his beloved job, if not more. He thought of Gulf when he was having breakfast, examining the soil and stone samples, or reading a book. Gulf has always been there since he met him and Mew is positively terrified now. He put his head under the cold shower and talked to himself, “This is not happening. You’re just delusional. This is wrong. This is WRONG, dammit” 

After shower, he tried to take a nap to give his tired mind a break. He changed the plaster for the injury on his hand with a new one and tried to lie down on bed and sleep. Surprisingly, he was able to fall asleep without strange thoughts invading his mind. When he woke up, the sky was turning dark blue and the night was approaching. He got up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. After drinking water, he sat on a chair at the kitchen table trying to block the thoughts coming back to his mind. He saw some wine bottles in a cabinet at a corner and decided he should just drink to forget about everything.

While he was drinking, he saw Daniel walking inside the kitchen and looked surprised when he saw Mew drinking wine alone. Daniel took some water and sat opposite to Mew trying to figure out if he should talk to Mew or not. Knowing Daniel might have wanted to start a conversation, Mew started the conversation and asked Daniel why he wasn’t sleeping. Mew thought he might be able to forget about Gulf if he was talking to someone. “I woke up from sleep and thirsty. So I came to get a glass of water. How about you Mew? Why are you drinking here alone? I heard from Kom you had a small accident in the forest. That’s why you came back early. Are you ok though?” Daniel asked looking slightly worried. Mew really tried to smile and wanted to say he was ok. But because of the influence of alcohol and the heavy burden on his mind, he couldn’t do it. He just shook his head at Daniel and tried to drink another glass of wine. “Is that because of the farm boy, Mew?” Daniel asked with conviction and Mew looked at him shocked and dropped his wine glass.

The wine spluttered on the table and the glass rolled towards the edge. Daniel caught the glass before it dropped to the floor and Mew was frozen on the spot now. “Mew, are you ok? Let me get the kitchen towel,” Daniel said and ran to get the towel from the counter and wiped the table. “What did you just ask, Daniel?” Mew asked when he could gather himself again. Daniel looked conflicted and finally said, “Do you have feelings for Gulf?”. Mew’s expression turned hard and he answered Daniel angrily, “No! Why do you think this way? Don’t you know he is a man? How can I have feelings for a man?” Daniel hold both his hands up and said, “I didn’t mean to offend you Mew. I was asking genuinely because of the way you treated the boy.” “Shut the fxxk up and stop trying to frame me Daniel”, Mew already felt panic coming back with full force and he stood up angrily. Daniel looked at him and Mew saw a flash of determination from his eyes. “I’m not trying to frame you, Mew. I’m asking you as a friend. And if this helps, I know the feeling too. I’ve been through this years ago and I know how difficult it is. I was even at the edge of giving up my life but I survived. And I don’t want this to happen to you Mew. So, come and talk to me if you want but don’t dismiss my good intentions.” Daniel said and walked out of the room, leaving a shocked Mew behind.

Mew knew he was acting strange around Gulf. He still met with Gulf for the research and he still brought him breakfast. Although Mew and Daniel were not talking to each other, Daniel always packed extra breakfast and put it on the kitchen counter for Mew to take to Gulf. Mew didn’t know if Daniel was angry with him but Mew wasn’t angry with Daniel at all. He felt awkward to be around him and he thought to himself he should speak to Daniel one day and apologize properly for exploding at him. But right now, Mew needed to sort out his feelings and thoughts about Gulf first.

Mew felt Gulf knew he was acting strange with the way Gulf glanced at him more often with worried eyes. But the boy chose not to ask him any questions judging that Mew might be in a bad mood. Mew was having a hard time though. His thoughts were everywhere and he was fighting with his own conscious and unconscious mind. One night, he woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare sweating buckets. He cursed himself and grabbed the glass of water on the table beside his bed. He tried to remembered what the nightmare was about but he couldn’t recalled but he faintly remembered Gulf was in it. He shook his head and found himself unable to sleep. He switched on the bedside lamp and tried to read a bit. When reading about soil science, he remembered it had been quite some time Gulf had stopped asking him about soil science or borrowed books from him to read. He didn’t know if Gulf was shy or if he felt Mew was in a bad mood and didn’t want to bother. He remembered to bring a new book for Gulf to read tomorrow. After thinking about Gulf, his heart strangely calmed down and he fell into peaceful slumber.

“Hey Gulf, here’s your breakfast. By the way, I brought a new book for you. It’s been some time we discussed about the soil science books. Let me know if you have questions. Ok?” Mew said once he met Gulf in the morning before going into the farmlands. Today, their fieldwork would be in the farmlands so it was not as tiring as going into the forest. Gulf looked at him flustered and said, “Oh, thank you P’Mew.” The boy looked down to look at the book and Mew heard a sniff. “Gulf, what happened? Are you ok?” Mew asked in startle. “I-I thought you were upset with me because you didn’t talk to me apart from work matter. But I didn’t dare to ask. W-were you upset with me?” Gulf asked insecurely with a small voice. Mew’s heart was breaking looking at the precious boy in front of him tearing up because of him. He wanted to hugged him and told him _“No, Gulf, I wasn’t upset with you. Far from it really. I am in love with you, and I was frustrated with myself because I couldn’t do anything about it.”_ But he couldn’t. So, he patted the boy’s head and said, “I wasn’t upset with you Gulf. I have a lot of things on my mind and I was generally in bad mood because of that. I’m so sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable” Mew said and the boy nodded and smiled at him. They continued walking towards the farmlands. And Mew realized this was the first time he fully accepted himself that he was in love with the innocent farm boy in front of him and for the first time, he didn’t feel any pain or panic from the love he felt for the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: For real though, I was sad after reading about how people had suffered in the past because of who they loved. I hope we all could learn from the past mistakes, be open-minded and build a better society where "love" can blossom w/o suppression.
> 
> Also, photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	4. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I love Daniel. Whoever loves Daniel, please raise your hands :'(
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

Sundays were usually off days for the research team and Mew was reading a book in the living room when he saw Daniel rushing to get out of the bungalow. Mew braved himself asked, “Hey Daniel, where are you going?” Daniel looked at him a little surprise and said, “Oh, I’m going to the city because we ran out of grocery. I’m afraid I might be busy next week so I’m getting them today.” “Does the market open on Sunday?” Mew asked. “Not the main one but I know one that’s open on Sunday,” Daniel answered and paused for a second before adding “Actually, if you don’t have important thing to do, would you like to come with me for help?” Mew stood up quickly, happy that Daniel wasn’t angry with him to ask such question, “Of course. Please give me 5 minutes to change.” Daniel smiled a little and said, “Sure, I’ll wait for you outside in the jeep.”

The market was a little far from their bungalow and Daniel was driving because Sundays were Kom’s rest days too. For a few minutes, Daniel was concentrated on driving and Mew didn’t know if he should say something. Then Daniel broke the silence and said, “ I wanted to say sorry to you Mew. I think I may have been so direct and I forgot that it might have been uncomfortable for you.” Surprise was an understatement and Mew rushed to apologize to Daniel too saying he might have taken it wrongly and it was wrong of Mew to explode on Daniel. Daniel smiled and said, “It’s ok Mew. I understand it completely. I told you I was in the same place before right?” Mew was quite for a while and said, “How do you overcome it? I-I mean the feeling of conflict and pain knowing you love someone but you can’t be with them.” “You love him?” Daniel asked and Mew nodded dejectedly. “You don’t overcome “love” Mew. You just can’t. And to be honest, why should you?” Mew already felt his eyes becoming blurry, “Because it’s impossible Daniel. I can’t marry him or be with him publicly because of the law. Everyone think this is wrong” Daniel said, “Do you really think marriage is the end goal of “love”? And why does it matter if you can’t be with him publicly? It’s your relationship, you don’t need to tell the public your love life. I felt really bad saying these things to you because I know the law. But remember Mew. “Law is not always right especially when it discriminates humans against human. Or when it discriminates against ‘love’.”

“But I’m scared, Daniel. What if? And I don’t want to hurt Gulf too” Mew said brokenly. Daniel stopped the Jeep at a side and looked at Mew. “Let me be honest Mew. I was going to tell you to forget about the boy until you told me you love him. Now I cant really say that because you can’t erase love nor forget about it. You can only embrace it to stop the pain. Now, let me ask you an honest question. Which one do you scare most? Losing him or having people finding out about you and being punished?” Daniel asked directly. It hit Mew like a truck and he thought about it. How would a life without Gulf be? He lived for many years without Gulf but once he thought about it now, he already felt an emptiness and his heart felt hallow. He is scared of death of course, who wouldn’t be? But he is more afraid to lose his love. Mew answered looking at Daniel, “Losing him, I don’t think I can bear it.” Daniel closed his eyes and sighed, “I think you have your answer now.” Mew asked, “But how can I say it to him? He would judge me. He might not have any feeling towards me. And how about when I return to London? This is not rational at all and too much risk”.

Daniel laughed a little and said, “If you’re rational, you would not even fall in love with a boy from a village miles away from your own. Love is not rational Mew, it can happen to anyone in any place at any time. So, what’s the problem if he is from Siam and you from London? You can bring him as an assistant when you go back. Also, the people in the village are not like us. They have no prejudice towards homosexuality and they accept you the way you are. I know someone from the village who is like us and he told me the people in the village doesn’t care who you love. And for the boy, I can’t say surely. But from the look, he might have some feelings for you too.” Mew looked at Daniel surprised, “How do you know?”

Daniel chuckled and said, “Kom said he was always asking about you. And when you were distant to him past few weeks, he was very moody and he even cried telling Kom you might have been angry with hm.” “He cried?” Mew asked feeling his heavy heart. “Yes, but now you’ve come to terms with this. So, be selfish Mew. Do what your heart tells you and it’ll always be right,” Daniel said and Mew have never felt more hopeful. And he thought Daniel might be right. “Thank you Daniel. Really” Mew said genuinely. Daniel laughed and said, “Well, think it as a repayment for you helping me to carry grocery.” Mew laughed. Daniel started the engine and drove towards the market. 

(Someone asked who I'll cast for Daniel and I suddenly remember someone with an aura of Eddy Redmayne would be perfect for the role. So, here's a photo of him.)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1243234913727451142/photo/2>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but such a heavy chapter to write. I finally did it. I wrote it so many times again and again because I felt like I couldn't get it right. Hopefully, it is ok. Let me know if you have any feedbacks. 
> 
> Also, photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.


	5. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

Mew woke up early in the morning again and this time round, he didn’t wake up from a nightmare. He felt lighter and hopeful after the conversation he had with Daniel on Sunday. He was still in the midst of struggle in sorting out his feeling but having someone to talk to really helps with his internal battle. He was reading the newspaper in the living room sipping tea when James came to the living room looking like he just woke up from bed. “Good morning, James”, Mew greeted and James sat on the sofa opposite to Mew. “Morning Mew. You looked fresh today.” Mew laughed and asked, “What do you mean?” “I mean you were pretty moody in the past few days but today you looked, I don’t know happier, lighter? Something like that,” James said. “Maybe it’s just my mood,” Mew said smiling and thinking how James would react if he knew about Mew. But he quickly dismissed the thought because he knew it’d not be positive. He, himself, didn’t accepted the fact that he liked a man easily, so he couldn’t even dream of other people to accept for who he is. After breakfast, Daniel had already packed both the breakfast for Gulf and lunch for Mew and Gulf on the kitchen table because Mew was going to do research in the forest today with Gulf. Mew thanked Daniel and headed out to go to the village. 

In the morning, Mew and Gulf worked hard together to collect important soil and stone samples and noting down the diversity of the features of each sample collected and marking the place so they can come back later to examine the different layers of soil. They would need the equipment and more manpower, Mew thought. After few hours passed, Mew looked at the time and realized the lunch time was way past. He looked at Gulf and saw the boy still focusing on noting down something. “Hey Gulf, I think we should stop for today. We got so much data and it’s already late afternoon. We haven’t even had lunch yet. Let’s have lunch now and we’ll walked back after then”, Mew said. Gulf seemed to forgot about lunch too when he said, “Oh, it’s late now. Ok, I’ll wash my hands for lunch”. Both of them washed up near the river and sat down under a tree to avoid glaring sun. Mew showed Gulf the lunch Daniel packed for them and Gulf thanked shyly and started eating.

After lunch, Mew felt Gulf fidgeting beside him and he asked, “What’s wrong Gulf? Wait, why is your face getting red?” Gulf said, “I don’t know. Does the food have seafood?” “I think so. I saw some prawn. Wait, are you allergic to seafood?”, Mew asked alarmed. “Yes, but not all seafood. Some. It’s not too bad”, Gulf answered timidly and looking at his slightly swelling hands. “Shit, I didn’t know. I’m sorry Gulf. Let me get the medicine” Mew said worried for Gulf. He had allergic medicine in his bag. Gulf said it was ok, and he should have checked before eating. Mew gave the meds to Gulf and opened the water bottle for him. Gulf drowned the medicine with water and looked a bit dizzy both from allergic reaction and the effect of medicine. Mew asked him if he was ok and Gulf replied he felt better but he wanted to take a rest. “Of course, let’s stay here for a while and we will walked back after you’re feeling better. We are near to the village anyway,” Mew said. Gulf nodded and tried to lean his head against the tree trunk to rest. But he was frowning because the rough part of the trunk hurt his head. Mew asked Gulf, “Do you want to put your head on my shoulder Gulf? I think it might be more comfortable.” Gulf looked at him thankfully and mumbled a thank you. He told Mew to wake him up after a few minutes and put his head on Mew’s shoulder to take a nap.

Mew could hear steady breathing from Gulf thinking the boy had fallen asleep for a while. Mew glanced sideway to look at Gulf and tucked a strand of hair fallen on his forehead. He thought, _“I wish I could tell you how I feel. I wish I could stay with you forever. I wouldn’t mind staying with you here in this village even.”_ Mew wanted to laugh thinking back when Daniel said he had no rationality or rather love has no rationality. It is true though. Before meeting Gulf, Mew never thought he could leave London or his beloved job. But now, he was even thinking of leaving everything behind for a boy he’s known for a short time. And he didn’t even know if the boy likes him the way he does.

Mew felt a little guilty when he confessed to a sleeping Gulf. Because he thought he could never do that to Gulf face to face. He said out the words overflowing from his heart and admitting his own feelings to the sleeping boy. “I love you Gulf. I’m in love with you”, Mew felt his heart relieved a little with each words said. At the moment, he felt Gulf shifted.

“P’Mew, what did you say?” Gulf asked looking absolutely bewildered. Mew was already panicking and apologized repeatedly, “I’m sorry Gulf. I didn’t mean to. Please forget what I said. I apologize.” Mew saw the hurt in Gulf’s eyes and the farm boy was already tearing up. “Why are you doing this to me?”, the boy spoke brokenly with tears streaming down his face. At that moment, Mew absolutely hated himself. What was he thinking? How can he say such things to an innocent boy? Now, he was going to lose the friendship he’s formed with the boy and all the negative thoughts streaming inside his head. Mew knew he was already in a state of panic and bad thought comes in waves and waves. He felt like he was drowning and couldn’t breathe. Then he felt a touch, and the touch raised him up from the blackhole he was sinking in. He felt Gulf palms holding his cheeks and wiping away his tears. Mew didn’t even know he was crying too. “Breathe P’Mew, and please don’t cry”, Gulf said softly looking at Mew. The farm boy seemed to calmed down a bit.

“Is it true? What you just said,” Gulf asked. Mew felt he was tearing up again but he fought it. He lifted his head and looked Gulf in the eyes. He could see the boy’s glistening eyes with tears and he felt his heart break a little more. For a split second, he thought of lying to the boy but he just couldn’t do it anymore. He took in a long breath, mustered up all the courage he had, and said the words firmly with determination, “I love you more than just a friend. Cause I’m in love with you.” Mew saw Gulf’s face scrunched up with each words and the boy was bawling once Mew had done talking. Mew didn’t know what to do and his hands were shaking wanting to wipe away Gulf’s tears. He wanted to console Gulf but he didn’t want to touch him without consent. He opened his mouth to apologize again but Gulf suddenly hugged him, put his head on Mew’s shoulder and continued sobbing. Mew’s hands were restless beside him but he finally decided to hugged Gulf back to console him.

After a couple of minutes, Gulf calmed down and he moved a little to look at Mew. Mew let go Gulf from his arms and he already felt empty. “I need to tell you something too, P’Mew,” Gulf said blinking several times to fight the tears and Mew mentally prepared for rejection. He braced himself and he could only hope Gulf would remain at least to be his friend after rejection because he couldn’t lose him and he would hold on to any threads that could give him a chance to be with Gulf. But what Gulf said next stopped every thoughts in Mew’s mind and he thought the time had stopped and the earth stopped spinning for a second. “I-I love you too, P’Mew. I’m in love with you. I already have feelings for you since the first time we met each other,” Gulf said softly but with determination looking at Mew’s eyes. And he was looking at Mew a little unsurely because Mew was frozen on the spot now.

Mew already felt the return of his tears but this time round, there was no pain or panic accompanying them. They were happy tears knowing Gulf loves him the same way. Mew pulled Gulf in to hug him so tight in his arms and he knew both of them were crying, but both felt so happy and content. And Mew remembered his conversation with Daniel. In his mind, he thought, “ _Why should it be wrong when it feels so right? Why should it be wrong when I know I am with the right person? Why should “love” be wrong? Daniel maybe right, no, no, he IS right. This is not wrong. This is not wrong for Daniel and this is not wrong for me. The only thing that is wrong is the “time” and “society” we live in_. _And I’m not going to let anyone dictate whoever I choose to love from now on._ ” After a while, Mew felt both of them calmed down but both were still hugging trying to soak in each other’s presence. Mew closed his eyes and rest his head on the side of Gulf’s neck inhaling the fresh and earthy scent that is so distinctively Gulf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone. I think Chapter 5 should end here because we are moving on to openly-in-love MewGulf. Also, photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	6. First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mew's whipped for Gulf's chestnut lips everyone. Nothing new here HAHAHA
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

For the following few weeks, not many things had changed between them. Mew and Gulf met at the village to go to farmlands or forest. Mew still brought packed breakfast and lunch for Gulf. And they had lunch together under the tree in the afternoon and sometimes talk for an hour or so if they finished work early. But few things had changed though. Mew found himself unable to keep his hand to himself and always doing something for Gulf like tucking his hair, wiping his sweat or wiping the dust off his face, and all those little touches. And in the proximity of Gulf, his heart would beat faster and his eyes, unable to look anything other than Gulf’s eyes, nose, lips or Gulf in general. He was too attentive to Gulf that at one point, Gulf had to firmly told him to watch his steps when walking on slippery paths in the forest because Mew was too busy looking at Gulf’s face and risk himself falling face first in the mud.

Except for safety reasons, Gulf didn’t really try to stop Mew or showed any signs of discomfort with Mew’s touches. He could tell Gulf really enjoyed his touches and he could hear Gulf’s heartbeat whenever Mew’s heart was beating fast too. Mew thought he had never been happier than at this moment in life with Gulf, doing a job he loves and being content. Mew didn’t try anything other than small and simple touches though. Mew knew this was Gulf’s first time with someone. Mew remembered a conversation with Gulf about his love life. Mew admitted he had partners before and he thought he was straight until he fell in love with Gulf. Gulf said he had never had boyfriends or girlfriends before. He was always busy with family and work and didn’t have much time to think about his love life. Mew felt sympathetic to the boy who had to pass his teenage years bearing a burden for his family without actually enjoying youth. But that makes Gulf so mature and understanding. Gulf is a precious gem and Mew felt lucky that he was the Gulf’s first love and he hoped to be the last one too.

Mew thought he should give Gulf time to adjust to their new status as lovers and slowly build their relationship. Mew thought small touches should be enough for him now and he could survive without kissing or being intimate with Gulf. But what he didn’t know was that he totally underestimated the power of Gulf on him. Without realizing, Mew started staring at Gulf’s chestnut lips and he had to check himself all the time. It was exhausting when he knew he could touch Gulf if he wanted to since they are official but he had to consider Gulf’s side and not to force himself on Gulf. So he kept checking himself in and said to himself in his mind to not cross any line and break the trust Gulf has on him.

One day, when they’re taking a longer break after lunch, Mew found Gulf being quite and lost in thoughts. Mew was a bit worried because usually Gulf would talk about Ju or his farm work or anything during the break. Mew asked, “Gulf, are you ok? You’re quite today.” Gulf looked at Mew startled, “Oh, am I? I’m ok though.” One skill Mew acquired over the course of a few weeks staring at Gulf’s face 90% of the time they were together was that he could read Gulf like an open book. It was also helpful that Gulf couldn’t hide his feeling and everything is transparent in his big bambi eyes. That’s why, Mew knew Gulf was not telling him the truth when he told Mew he was ok. So, Mew asked again, “You know you can tell me everything, right? Do you have problem at your home or at work?”

Mew saw Gulf’s ears turning red and he was trying to say something. So, Mew turned to face Gulf and hold his hands trying to encourage the boy to talk. “I-I wanted to ask you something, Pi,” Gulf said unsurely. “Of course, Gulf. Please ask me anything. If that’s something I can answer, I will tell you everything honestly,” Mew said. And Gulf timidly said, “Y-your previous girlfriends, w-what do you find attractive in them, like p-physically?”. Mew was surprised. Gulf had never asked about his previous girlfriends since the day he told him about that. “Why do you want to know Gulf? Not that I can’t tell you but I don’t really think what I thought about them matter anymore because everything has changed since I met you.” Mew answered carefully not trying to shut down the boy but at the same time, not liking the insecurity the boy might be feeling and Mew wanted to reassure Gulf. “I-I don’t know. Because you don’t r-really want to kiss me or touch me beyond small touches. I thought I might be u-unattractive since I am a boy” Gulf said insecurely. 

After hearing that, Mew’s mouth fell open and his eyes bulged so wide he was afraid they would come out of the sockets. He recapped everything Gulf had said in his mind. Gulf thought he was unattractive as if Mew didn’t want to devour his lips every time he was staring at them. And Gulf was also feeling insecurity. And most of all, Gulf wanted him to make a move. Mew’s feeling were all over the place and he just wanted to pull all his hair out due to frustration on this ridiculous situation where he thought he was being considerate but in the end, he was restraining for nothing because Gulf had wanted him all along. But he tried to wheel in all this feelings because he knew Gulf was feeling insecure and his utmost priority was to erase that and make sure Gulf knew Mew’s feelings for him clearly without any room for doubts.

So, Mew hold Gulf’s face delicately in his palms and looked at the boy. “Gulf, listen to me carefully. I know how you’re feeling. And I wont tell you to stop feeling this way because I can’t and shouldn’t control your feelings. But one thing for sure. I will be right beside you and reassure you everyday every second whenever you felt like this. I’ll tell you now and I will repeat it again and again for the rest of our lives. I love you Gulf, and I love not only your body but also your soul. It’s like you are my first love. No, actually, you ARE my first love as much as I am yours. Because this kind of love and the feelings come with it, I’ve never experienced it before too. Even a little touch with you sends shivers down my spine. And you even had to scold me because I was looking at you all the time, right? It’s because I can’t help it. For the past few weeks, I thought maybe you might need time to adjust but now I know I was overthinking. You didn’t know how much I want to kiss you and have to hold back.” Mew said while his thumb caressing Gulf’s slightly parted lips delicately. Mew saw Gulf closed his eyes on instinct and all his resolve broke, closing the gap between them.

The kiss was soft and full of euphoric feelings. Mew didn’t even know this kind of feeling can just exist by kissing someone. Gulf lips were so soft like cotton and they were moving along with Mew’s under his guidance in a slow rhythm. Mew felt Gulf’s hand fisted his arms and his feelings escalated quickly. Mew’s hands slipped from Gulf’s face to grab his waist and gently pull him on his lap. The kiss became hotter with Mew nibbling on Gulf’s lower lips and licking it afterwards to soothe. Gulf parted his lips pliantly, allowing Mew’s tongue to slip inside his mouth. Mew felt both of them were breathing heavily with the intensity of the kiss. When Mew heard Gulf’s soft moan, it sent wild tremors along Mew’s spine and he gripped Gulf’s waisted firmly, trying to take control of his body and mind. And his lips slowly parted from Gulf’s trying to breathe in much needed air. Gulf was still on his lap with his eyes closed. Mew had to remind himself to not do anything ridiculous when they’re out in the open in a forest. So, he buried his head in Gulf’s neck to calm himself down and he could feel Gulf relaxed as well.

After the kiss, both of them felt deeply connected and Mew saw a glint of light return to Gulf’s eyes washing away any insecurities he might have felt previously. Mew was extremely happy and he never thought he was capable of feeling happiness to this extent. When returning to the village, Gulf asked Mew if he was free on coming Sunday. Mew said he had nothing to do so Gulf invited him to his house for dinner with his family. “Will your parents be ok with me as your boyfriend?” Mew asked, feeling slightly unsure if Gulf’s family would be welcoming because Mew, for a fact knew that his own family would disown him if they ever found out about him having a boyfriend. Gulf answered rather bashfully that his family was supportive and he always told everything to his mom. His mom was happy for him because she knew her son had sacrifice his youth and love life for the family. Mew felt like he was the luckiest person alive when hearing that Gulf’s family was happy of him having Mew as a boyfriend. And Mew agreed to come for dinner on Sunday. Gulf also told him he could sleepover if he wanted to so they could start their work from the village on Monday morning and Mew would save time travelling between the village and bungalow. Mew quickly agreed with excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy, Mew is going to meet Gulf's parents and siblings
> 
> Please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	7. You’re my desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Ahem* THE love scene is here <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to share the visual of the toothpaste and record player because I was fascinated with simple everyday things people used in that era. Compared to current ones, they were so different and gave me a nostalgic feeling. Please click the link to get to the photos posted on my twitter  
> (The Record Player) https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244535658238148609/photo/3  
> (The toothpaste) https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244535658238148609/photo/4  
> (1940s Condom LOL) https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244566928603197442/photo/3  
> (1940s Lube) https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244566928603197442/photo/4  
> Don't judge me I did my research hehehe  
> Also, in this house, we won't allow unsafe sex even if it is historical, ok? ok :)
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

On Saturday, Gulf reminded Mew of Sunday dinner and Mew pecked Gulf’s lips answering, “Yes, little one, I remembered. You reminded me everyday,” Mew said endearingly and saw Gulf’s ears turning red. Gulf was so precious with his reaction to Mew’s affection but he always basked in as if he needed Mew’s affections as much as Mew loved to give them.

After coming back to the bungalow in the late afternoon, Mew thought hard what he should be wearing and what he should bring to Gulf’s house because it would be rude to go empty handed. He was slightly nervous. Although he knew Gulf’s parents had accepted him, there was still a slight chance that they wouldn’t like Mew when they knew he came from Britain. But Mew dismissed those negative thoughts and decided he would meet Gulf’s parents with open heart since they accepted him before even meeting him person. He’s got no idea what he should bring so he decided to bring several snacks he brought from London as gifts because he knew Gulf’s little brother and sisters would love those. And he decided to wear simple outfit, a white shirt with kaki pant. He remembered to pack extra clothes and his toothpaste.

On Saturday night, he couldn’t sleep due to nervousness so he thought he might walk around the garden. He was coming out of his room to get fresh air in the garden and he saw Daniel wiping the dust off the vintage record player in the living room. “Why are you not sleeping yet Daniel?”, Mew asked amused. “My god, you scared me Mew. Why are YOU not sleeping?”, Daniel asked. Mew sighed and told, “I’m having a sleepover at Gulf’s house. And my nerves are all over the place.” “Wow, a sleepover. You sure move fast, my friend,” Daniel said with half smile and half smirk. “HEY! What are you talking about? His family lives there too and their house, according to Gulf, is small. There’s nothing can be done,” Mew said offended and embarrassed.

“Well, I’m not saying anything. Why are you all defensive? But Mew, I know you two were progressing with your relationship and at a point, you will want to be intimate with him. But do you know that it is dangerous if you don’t know what you are doing. Things are more complicated than being intimate with a girl,” Daniel said casually while wiping away the dust off the record player.

Mew was so embarrassed he wanted the ground to swallow him. He vaguely remembered the talk he had with his father when he became a teenager but this was far more worse since he’s a fully grown adult and he was talking with Daniel. “You sure know a lot about my relationship progress,” Mew muttered to Daniel.

“Well, I can see from the way you act around Gulf. And stop being embarrassed. You are a responsible adult and you should know better than to be intimate with Gulf and ended up hurting him because you know nothing about having sex with a man,” Daniel said quite sternly and Mew felt guilty that he thought this lightly without much seriousness. “I apologize, Daniel. I know this is important, and I admit I have no knowledge. If you could share, I would like to listen. I know I’m not going to have sex with Gulf tomorrow but when the day come, I wanted to be prepared so I wouldn’t end up hurting Gulf,” Mew said genuinely and thanking the heaven that he found a great friend in Daniel who was the biggest supporter of his relationship with Gulf.

The talk with Daniel was far from comfortable but Mew understood this was a much needed talk. And he asked questions to some points that were complicated and Daniel patiently answered them. Mew even asked Daniel where he could buy lube. Mew had condoms, it was a habit and safety reason that he always carried condoms whenever he travelled so accidents wouldn’t happen. But for lube, he wasn’t sure about that since it’d be the first time he was going to have sex with a man. Daniel answered the clinical lubricants that are usually used for medical purpose would be a safe choice. He even offered to buy one for Mew when he visits the city next Tuesday. Mew thanked him because he really wanted to make sure he had everything in case if he and Gulf decided to be intimate. Not that he was hoping for it to happen soon but the tension he felt whenever they’re together became more and more intense so it was a matter of time. Mew wanted to be absolutely prepared when the time came because he knew Gulf would be even more clueless than himself. It was pretty late after their short but educational talk was over and Mew thanked Daniel profusely. As usual, Daniel dismissed it saying Mew could help him to finish dusting off the record player. Mew went to bed both excited and nervous for tomorrow. 

Kom droved him to Gulf’s house on Sunday evening saying Gulf asked him. Mew was surprised to find out Kom didn’t show any negative signs even though it might have been obvious that Mew and Gulf had special relationship. Mew didn’t know if Kom knew about them being boyfriends but he seemed to be accepting. Mew reminded himself to pass some money to Daniel for Kom as a bonus for his hard work, especially when he had to work on Sunday which was his usual off day. “There it is, this is Gulf’s house,” Kom pointed to a small but cozy looking cottage and walked a little faster shouting, “Gulf! Gulf! P’Mew is here! Come out.” Mew wanted to laugh at Kom’s enthusiasm and he examined the lovely cottage. Mew thought, _“Maybe one day I could live with Gulf in a small cottage like this one.”_

(Visuals of Gulf's House)

_<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244694927235338240> _

And he saw Gulf coming out of the cottage hurriedly, “I was cooking at the back, I didn’t hear you. Hi P’Mew, please come and sit here first. The food is going to be ready soon. I’m helping my mom cook the food,” Gulf said shyly while trying to tuck his own hair falling on his face but in the process, he smeared a stripe of charcoal on his face since his hand was full of charcoal stain. Mew chuckled at the adorableness of the boy in front of him and out of habit, proceeded to tuck the remaining strands of hair behind his ears saying, “It’s ok Gulf, take your time. I’ll sit here and wait. I really love this place by the way, this is so cozy and homely.” Gulf nodded and went back inside to the kitchen, then Mew remembered Kom was with them. He looked at Kom a little alarmed but Kom just smiled at him and said he would go back home to have dinner with his family. Mew thanked Kom and sat down on a wooden chair at the front of the house. Mew thought, _“The people in village are so understanding of each other. They have each other’s back and they are close-knit like one big family. This is a society build on love and understanding and this is how it should be.”_

After a while, Gulf came out to invite him inside of his house. Gulf’s house doesn’t have luxurious things like Mew’s one in London but it was so neat and homely. It gave Mew a feeling he could just fit in. Mew saw Gulf’s parents and siblings, a young boy and a young girl in village clothing, smiling wide at Mew. Mew greeted Gulf’s parents with respect and both were quite surprised when they heard Mew’s perfect Thai. They welcomed him warmly without prejudice and Mew was thankful. Mew passed the gifts he brought and the two little siblings were over the moon checking all the fancy snacks. Gulf was quite shy introducing Mew to his parents but he stayed beside Mew all the time. Dinner was a bit challenging for Mew because he wasn’t used to sitting on the floor and eating by hand. Gulf asked if Mew wanted a spoon and he could give him. But Mew insisted he could try since he genuinely wanted to experience the culture. They talk a bit about Mew and his job during the dinner and Gulf’s father enthusiastically talked about farmlands and soil when he found out Mew’s profession as a soil science researcher. The conversation flow naturally and Mew felt comfortable to be around the family members. Mew found the family had prepared non-spicy food for him because Mew couldn’t take spicy food. Mew observed Gulf a bit and saw him reaching for Krapow which seemed to be his favorite dish. The plate was a little far so Mew helped him with it and he saw Gulf’s ears turn red a bit. Suddenly, Mew realized he was doing that in front of Gulf’s parents and felt a bit awkward but Gulf’s parents are smiling knowingly without saying anything so he felt relieved that he didn’t cross any line.

After the dinner, they sat in the living room and talked a bit. Gulf’s two little siblings were basically clinging to Mew and Mew thought it might have to do with the snacks he brought. He smiled at the adorable siblings who have similar facial features as Gulf. After a while, the two siblings and Gulf’s parents went to bed. Mew was surprised they sleep really early. Gulf showed him a place for Mew to wash up before bed and he borrowed Mew some of his clothes because Mew stupidly only packed one pair to wear for tomorrow and he didn’t bring pajama. Gulf’s clothes were just fit on him and he felt relaxed inhaling the earthy scent of Gulf that clings to the clothes. Gulf sleep in a room with his little brother where the little sister sleeps with the parents. When they came inside the room, the little brother was fast asleep. They slept on the floor on top of a mat. It was hard for Mew to adjust to sleeping on the hard floor but hugging Gulf made up everything. Mew couldn’t have felt more content than this moment and he hugged Gulf a little tighter and fell into a peaceful sleep.

In the morning, Gulf asked him to walk around outside of the house and introduced him to different farm animals they owned. Mew was slightly afraid when he tried to hold a chicken or pet a calf and he heard Gulf’s laugh. Gulf laugh made Mew instantly happy and he looked around to make sure nobody was there before pecking Gulf’s right cheek. Gulf turned tomato but smiled shyly without much protest. They went to the farmlands for research after washing up and having a quick breakfast. Mew learnt from Gulf that Gulf’s family usually skip breakfast because the children had to go to school early and the father and Gulf had to go to work early. But they had breakfast today because Gulf’s mom was worried Mew might be hungry. Gulf jokingly said his parents already thought Mew as their son. Hearing that, Mew felt a warm feeling spread across his body knowing Gulf’s family loves him as much as he loves them.

While walking across the village to the farmland, Mew saw a shop selling clay toys. He looked at clay elephants in different colors and was interested since he likes to collect souvenirs. He asked Gulf about this and Gulf proudly said “I know how to make clay elephants, Pi. I will make one for you. Mine will be prettier than them.” Mew laughed endearingly, agreeing that he would be waiting to receive one.

The lunch breaks under the tree were kissing and making out sessions for Mew and Gulf now. And Mew thought how would it be possible for him to be more and more addicted to Gulf’s lips even if he kissed him every single day they met. And it was never enough for both of them. They just wanted to be get close to each other until they became one and Mew had an epiphany that it was never enough because they wanted more. Mew was sure of himself that he wanted to be with Gulf in every way possible and it was not purely out of lust. Mew wanted Gulf to be his and him to be Gulf’s with no room for anyone or anything to come in between them. His heart was beating fast thinking about that.

It had been a couple of weeks after Mew visited Gulf’s house and the research team were sitting down at the dining table for dinner on Wednesday night. Edward announced that there would be long holiday for 4 days from Friday till Monday in Siam because of a big festival happening in the city. Sara and James excitedly said that they would love to visit the city for the festival and Edward and Daniel agreed. Mew thought hard and decided to stay back because for one, he didn’t like the crowd and loud noises of the festival but the bigger reason was that he couldn’t stay far from Gulf. The team members said they would go to the city on Friday and they will return on Monday afternoon. They asked Mew if it would be ok for him to stay alone for a few days and Mew told them it would be ok. And he asked the team members if it is ok with them if he have his assistant around for discussion on research work. Without knowing about his and Gulf’s relationship, the other team members agreed and said it was better because Mew would have someone to accompany him during the time they were gone. Mew could see Daniel smirking at the corner of his eyes and felt a bit of embarrassment. But he thought he should ask permission from the team members if he wanted to ask Gulf to come to the bungalow to avoid any misunderstanding.

When Friday came, Mew said goodbye to the team leaving for the festival. Daniel told him he stocked enough grocery for Mew. When the other team members were busy, Daniel told him to remember what he said to Mew and teasingly said, there were romantic records in the cabinet Mew could play. Mew lightly punched him on the shoulder embarrassed and told him to have fun at the festival. After the team left, Mew went back to his room to check his drawer. Mew had already had lube from Daniel on last Tues and he kept it safe in the drawer next to his bedside table together with his condoms. Mew was excited but also nervous because he was going to be in unknown territory and he had to protect Gulf no matter what. So, he rehearsed everything Daniel said in his mind to not forget any steps and ended up hurting Gulf. Mew had told Gulf about the plan on Thursday and the boy was beet red. He openly communicated with Gulf to get his point across without sounding like he just wanted to have sex with Gulf. Gulf was so embarrassed so Mew hold him in his arms saying they could just spend the time together without the need to be intimate if Gulf wasn’t ready. But Gulf stuttered he wanted this as much as Mew and Mew was on cloud nine hearing the verbal consent.

Gulf said he would come in the late evening on Friday because he was helping his father with farm work. But Gulf told him he already asked for off days on Saturday and Sunday because he wanted to stay overnight at Mew’s bungalow. Mew asked him if his parents would be ok for Gulf to come to Mew’s place overnight and Gulf told him they didn’t say anything to Gulf but his mother was teasing him about that. Only then, Mew could breathe properly because he didn’t want to do something wrong and break Gulf’s parents’ trust on him. Gulf said Kom agreed to drive him here because it was late and other transportation would not be available. Mew reminded himself to thank Kom personally for all the help he’s been doing. While waiting for Gulf, Mew made a simple pasta, the only dish he could cook properly, for himself and Gulf for dinner and waited for Gulf to arrive.

Gulf arrived to the bungalow around 7 pm with Kom. Mew invited Kom for dinner but Kom said he had to return home to have dinner with his family. While Gulf was taking his bag packed with clothes for the weekend, Mew thanked Kom for helping. Kom said he was happy to help, then he added, “Thank you Pi. For making my friend happy. I have never seen him this happy and cheerful in my life of knowing him since we were five. So really thank you. ” Mew didn’t know what to reply and he felt overwhelming feeling of wanting to protect Gulf. Gulf returned beside Mew and Kom quickly say goodbye to return to his home.

Once they were inside, Mew was all over Gulf. He didn’t know where this was coming from but he just needed to kiss Gulf. He hugged him and kissed him with ferocity eliciting soft moans from Gulf. When he was nibbling Gulf’s bottom lips, he heard a soft grumbling noise. Mew smiled into the kiss knowing the boy must be hungry since it’s dinner time now. Mew moved back slowly and he saw Gulf trying to close the gap again on instinct. Mew smiled at the adorable boy. “Hey, I think we should have dinner. You must be hungry,” Mew said and on time, Gulf’s stomach grumbled again, but loudly this time. The boy was embarrassed but Mew quickly pecked his nose and hold his hand to guide him to the kitchen. They had pasta but most of the time, it’s Mew feeding Gulf because his little one doesn’t really know how to use a folk to pick up the noodle. Gulf seemed to love the food and the attention Mew was giving. After that, they quickly cleaned the plates and sat on the sofa in the living room.

As soon as they sat on the sofa, Mew pulled Gulf on his lap because he was incapable of separating from his lover even for a second. Gulf was facing him and just chatting away the most trivial thing about his farm work and his family while Mew was half-listening, half gazing Gulf’s beautiful face and the way his chestnut lips were moving. Mew’s hands were on Gulf’s waist, rubbing small circle while the boy was speaking. After a while, Mew buried his face on Gulf’s chest and drew out soft giggle from the boy. Mew raised his head and looked up to Gulf, drunk in love. “Let’s dance,” Mew said lifting Gulf while standing up himself. “But I don’t know how to,” Gulf said unsurely. “Hmm..you don’t need to. Just hug me and sway along,” Mew told Gulf, carrying him, and walked towards the record player. Mew put Gulf for a minute on the table beside the record player to switch on the record. Gulf was sitting on the table and looking at Mew while swinging his feet. Once the sound came out of the speaker, Mew came back to Gulf, they smiled at each other, and Mew, once again, hugged him to move along with the song.

(The Song MewGulf Dance Together To. Pls pls go to listen to the song. It's the best when you're listening and reading. You will get the best experience)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1244847665113976833>

When the song stopped, they basked in each other’s warmth for a couple of minutes, hugging. Without much thought, Mew buried his nose at the side of Gulf’s neck to breathe in, eager to drown in Gulf’s earthy scent. He felt Gulf’s breath hitched and his hands grabbed the shirt on the small of Mew’s back. Mew could already feel the tension rebuilding again and he took his time taking turns on kissing and sniffing Gulf’s neck and shoulder. Then, he slowly came up to kiss Gulf’s small ear and pulled the earlobe in between his teeth to nibble on it. Gulf moaned his name brokenly and he could already feel their arousal through their clothes. He let go of Gulf’s earlobe to lift him up and move to his room.

Mew slowly lay Gulf on the bed and continued worshipping the other side of Gulf’s neck with kisses and nibbles. For a quiet person, Gulf was quite vocal with the sounds he was making whenever he felt sensitive from Mew’s kisses. And it was driving Mew’s crazy and he fought a battle between wanting to devour Gulf and mark him up so the rest of the world knows this innocent and lovely boy is his and only his and being cautious enough not to hurt the boy. When his desire became too high, he pulled the skin on the juncture of Gulf’s neck and shoulder with his teeth and sucked on it, still careful not to hurt Gulf but also intense enough to leave a mark. Then, Mew blew a small kiss on the area to soothe and kissed Gulf’s jaw lightly.

Mew moved up to kissed the boy’s both sides of the cheeks and looked at the absolute beauty under him. The boy had closed his eyes with his mouth parted, hair a mess splayed on the pillow under him. Mew looked at him and the electrifying feeling of love he felt for the boy lit his body up on fire, his veins throbbed and his heart exploded. He kissed Gulf’s forehead and the boy opened his eyes. Mew saw the glistening pair of eyes which are filled with innocence, love and lust. He knew his own eyes reflected the same feelings. He looked at Gulf intensely trying to convey the feelings brewing inside his chest and told him, “I love you so much, my little one. I love you so much I don’t think I could ever love anyone anymore.” He saw Gulf smiled and said, “I love you so much too, you are my first and only love. You will be my last one too because I don’t think I can love someone as much as you.” And Mew dove in to kiss him and he wanted him closer, closer and closer until they were a tangle of limbs moving as one body and one soul, deeply connected in the name of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very long chapter and I had done a lot of research in order to convey the right feeling. So, feel free to give me your feedback. Love you all. 
> 
> Also, photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	8. Can the time be frozen like a photograph?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual Content (Non explicit)  
> Author's Note: I wanted them to have more happy moments so I added another love scene. 
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

The morning after their first time was full of happy moments. Mew refused to let Gulf walk by himself. He was either carrying Gulf around or clinging to Gulf all the time. Even when having a meal, he would put Gulf on his lap and feed him. Sometimes, Gulf would turn red and feel embarrassed but Mew knew the boy loved the attention as much. They spent the whole afternoon cooking together. Or Gulf was cooking and Mew was trying to cling on him. Mew gave an excuse that he was helping Gulf to cook, but ended up delaying the cooking process because Gulf couldn’t move around with Mew clinging onto him. But never once Gulf complained and enjoyed every ounce of Mew’s love and attention on him.

After dinner, Mew sat on the sofa and Gulf sat on Mew’s lap to read a book about soil fertility and Gulf asked occasional questions whenever he didn’t understand some parts that were complicated for him. Mew, of course, explained to him but not without a kiss as a price for being a good tutor. Gulf giggled and told Mew a kiss for a question was too expensive. Mew laughed and laid Gulf down on the sofa to kiss him senseless saying he might have to tutor Gulf for the rest of his life now since he stole so many expensive kisses from Gulf. They laid on the sofa together with Mew rubbing Gulf’s tummy without any worry or thought. Mew saw Gulf’s closed eyes and heard steady breathing and he fell into a peaceful slumber as well. Mew woke up to still sleeping Gulf and thought he should take a photograph of Gulf so that he could look at it anytime whenever they were not together. Gulf woke up to Mew playing with his hair and Mew said, “I wish I have a camera now, I want to take a photograph of you.” Gulf was confused and asked, “What it a camera or photograph?”. Mew laughed and explained the concept of camera and photograph until Gulf understood.

They didn’t have sex on Saturday night because Mew remembered Daniel saying Gulf’s body needed to recover since it was a first time for him. Of course, that didn’t mean they don’t do other intimate acts. Most of the time it was Mew who initiated and Gulf followed on instinct. But on Sunday night, Gulf initiated a kiss when they were lying down face to face on the bed and in a second, Gulf was on top of Mew with his thighs on each sides of Mew’s torso. Mew let the boy to take initiative thinking Gulf must have already felt the longing of being together intimately because he had to return to his home tomorrow morning. Mew felt the same and he slipped his hands inside Gulf’s shirt to touch his back, trying to get as much skin to skin contact as possible. Even though he was taking initiatives, Gulf was quite lost after a few minutes into kissing and Mew took over knowing the boy’s desperation. “Tell me what you what, little one. Tell me how you feel,” Mew asked, wanting to make sure the boy knew what he wanted. “Please kiss me and kiss me a lot. Touch me everywhere too. I just want to be close to you. I don’t know when we can have a chance to be alone again. Make love to me,” Gulf said breathily and Mew obeyed to the boy’s wishes with the same amount of desperation.

Kom picked Gulf up in the morning to take him to his work in the farmlands. Mew kissed Gulf’s forehead to say goodbye and Kom looked at them with happiness in his eyes and a small smile. The research team arrived to the bungalow in the late afternoon and everyone seemed tired but they told Mew the festival was a very good experience for them. Daniel came in after a couple of minutes with letters he took out from the postbox. “Edward, there’s a letter from the embassy,” Daniel said and Edward answered lightly, “They are probably checking about our research progress. There are usually letters from them from time to time.” “But this said urgent. I think you should read it now,” Daniel said a little worriedly, passing the letter to Edward. Now, every team members’, including Mew’s, attention was on the letter in the hand of Edward. Edward opened the letter and read. Mew saw Edward’s face turned from confusion to concerning and felt an unpleasant feeling inside his chest.

Edward looked at the team members with worry in his eyes and said, “The embassy wants us to return to London immediately,” “Why?!,” Mew asked already feeling the boiling concern about returning to London and leaving Gulf behind. “The letter said Siam had agreed to sign the military alliance treaty with Japanese Empire. That means Siam is going against Britain and our Western alliance. It would be too dangerous to stay here now since Japanese troops will be entering Siam after the treaty is signed. Our embassy and French embassy have prepared special pass and transportation for us to return. James and Sara, please arrange everything needed to be pack. Daniel, can you work with Kom to inform the village chief about this? And Mew, Mew? Mew?” Edward glanced at Mew who looked like all the colors from his face had drained.

“What’s wrong, Mew? We need to hurry up and leave within a few days,” Edward said. “Edwards, I think….,” Daniel tried to cover only to be interrupted by Mew saying, “I won’t leave. No! I can’t.” “What do you mean you can’t? Didn’t you hear what I have just said? It’s dangerous, you might die if the troops found out you’re British. Do you understand?” Edwards said frustrated with Mew without knowing what was wrong. “I don’t care if I die, ok? I’m not going to leave Siam,” Mew said stubbornly. “Bloody hell, Mew. What the hell is wrong with you? WHY do you have to stay here?,” Edward quite angrily asked. “Because…because I can’t leave my lover. I have to stay with him. I can’t leave Gulf behind and return to London,” Mew answered, already drowned in sorrow with a mere thought of parting from Gulf. “Gulf? You mean the boy helping you with the research? What the hell Mew? What the bloody hell? Why would you?” Edward shouted, looking both concerned and angry at the same time. Daniel intervened saying, “Everyone, I think we should give Mew some time to digest. He’s too emotional now. Please, let him think this through while we tried to arrange things.” Mew, too emotionally drained, left the living room to sit on edge of the bed in his bedroom.

“Mew, can I talk to you?” Mew looked up and saw James entering the bedroom. Mew nodded, still in shock with the unexpected news. “I-I don’t know what to say. It was a shock to me. Are you really in love with the boy, Mew?” James said unsurely sitting on a chair facing Mew. “Yes, I am. And I don’t care if you judge me or report me. All I care is I can’t leave him. I love him so much and I really cannot live without him, James. You won’t understand,” Mew said, already felt tears streaming down his face. “Mew, listen. You are my best friend since childhood. Hell, you are like my brother. I’ll be honest. I am still in shock of you loving a man because I was brought up in a society that doesn’t accept this. But, that wouldn’t stop me from being your friend. And I understand, Mew. I really do. Because if I have to leave Sara, I would be broken to pieces too,” James said empathetically. Hearing that, Mew broke down burying his tear-stained face in his palm with James looking at him tearful, feeling the pain his best friend was suffering from. After a while, Mew calmed down. “Do you want to talk to the rest of the team now? Edward and everyone is waiting for you in the living room,” James said softly and Mew nodded, getting up and walking to the living room with James following behind him.

Mew saw all the team members looking at him concerned and sat down on a sofa dejectedly. Edward said, “Mew, first of all, I would like to apologize for shouting at you. It was out of line and I’m really sorry about that. And we talked to Daniel and we came to realize a few things. And I-I don’t know if I can fully accept homosexuality but one thing is sure. We worked together as a team for many years and I believe you and Daniel are good people. And good people deserve respect. And staying here in this village in Siam helped me to learn a lot about humanity our society is lacking. Ironically, the most advanced and civilized societies do not understand the concept of love and respect as much as a little village does. So, believe me. I’m not going to report you or put any of you in danger regardless of what law stated.” The genuine empathy in Edward’s voice made Mew believe in him. Mew looked around and realized he was indeed a very lucky person to be surrounded by people like his team. Mew looked at Edward and said, “This means so much to me, Ed. I-I’m so lucky to have you guys as my team and my friends.”

Once emotionally calmed down, Mew asked the team, “Are there any way I could stay behind? Or could I bring Gulf to London?” “If you stay behind, it will put not only you but the whole village in danger if the Japanese troops find out. And bringing Gulf is probably impossible now because of the enemy status between Siam and Britain. He might be considered as a spy and his life could be threatened even if he can get the visa from the embassy. I-I’m sorry but there is no other way at the moment. We will help you to find ways if Gulf can seek asylum or any other way. But now, the best way for both of you is for you to return to London,” Edward answered with a heavy heart, sympathetic to the struggle Mew must be suffering. “I understand,” Mew said, feeling his heart break into pieces with each words Edward was saying. He felt all the energy from his body drained. He went back to his room to lie on the bed, looking at the ceiling and let the tears fall.

**Mew’s Dream:** _Mew was trying to adjust the camera. He borrowed it from Daniel telling him he needed it to photograph the landscape he got the soil samples so he could keep the record. This was the truth of course, but he had another reason to use the camera too. He wanted to take a photograph of the lovely boy who stood before him. He thought, “Will the photograph be able to reflect his beauty and innocence? Perhaps not”. Mew chuckled and thought when did he become such a cheesy person. “Hey Gulf, can you come and stand here?” Mew asked. “Huh?” Gulf distractedly said while trying to gather different kinds of stones that is needed for Mew’s research. “Leave that alone and come and stand here, please” Mew asked again. Gulf looked at him confused and came to stand at the spot Mew was trying to direct. “Here?” Gulf asked. “Yes, now look at this camera. I am going to take a photograph of you.” Mew said._

_“Photograph? Is it the thing you talked about? Like the realistic drawings coming out of the machine?” Gulf asked excitedly. Mew smiled widely at the innocence of the boy before him and said “Yes, that is the one. Now I want you to smile looking at this”. “How do I smile?” Gulf asked nervously. “Smile like usual. However you want. Ok ready, one two three” Mew counted and took a photo. He saw the boy trying to smile nervously. He chuckled at the adorableness of the farm boy who only knows the goodness of the world. “Your teeth are going to freeze Gulf, you can close your mouth now”, he teased the boy. “Hey! I was trying to smile. Don’t embarrass me.” Gulf shouted and trying to avoid eye contact with Mew. Gulf was shy and Mew can see the tips of his ears turning red. Mew thought, “You are the only person in this world I want to protect. I want to freeze the time like the photograph so I can see your smile forever”._

Mew woke up from the dream and for a second he thought everything was ok and this was just another beautiful day. But it wasn’t. He remembered yesterday’s events and felt the pain inside his chest again. He dragged himself out of the bed and walked to the kitchen. The rest of the team members were already inside the kitchen having breakfast. Mew tried to smile at them but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Daniel quickly get up to set up tea and breakfast for Mew and said, “W-we were discussing about leaving tomorrow before sunset because we got the news early morning that the treaty is already signed and Japanese troops are marching in soon. They are using Siam as a passage to invade British-held Malaya and Burma. This is going to complicate so many things for us and we must leave before the situation escalated. I hope you understand, Mew. And we know you must be exhausted so we decided to do all the packing and arranging ourselves. For your things, Sara and James will help to pack so you don’t need to do. And, if you want to spend some time together with Gulf, you can do it today. You can come with me when I go to the village later around noon. I have to be there to inform the village chief,” Daniel said looking at Mew worriedly. Mew tried to process the information and suppressed in all this feeling and answered Daniel, “Yes, I will come with you. And thank you everyone for being understanding. I-I don’t know how to repay you.” Everyone tried to console Mew and said it was ok and they wanted to help.

Mew asked Daniel if he can borrow the camera to take picture of Gulf and Daniel agreed. But he told Mew there might not be a lot of film left. Since Daniel had to ran around to settle the matter with village chief and also arranged to deliver the equipment to the city, he did not have time to take photo for him. Mew said he could take it himself since he knows the basic and Daniel showed the detailed specification of the camera to Mew on the way. Once he reached to the village, he saw Gulf waiting for him worriedly. He thought Gulf must have heard about this from Kom and he saw Gulf’s face scrunched up as soon as he spotted Mew. Mew ran to him and hugged him, didn’t care whoever was around. Mew took Gulf’s hand to walk towards the end of the village and the start of the forest area. They sat down under the tree they usually had lunch and Mew pulled Gulf on his lap to cry his eyes out. Gulf was crying with equal intensity as well and Mew can feel Gulf’s tears staining his white shirt. 

Mew was rubbing Gulf’s back to console the boy and Gulf was doing the same to console Mew. They knew that the departure was inevitable but that didn’t mean their hearts were not broken. “I will come to meet you as soon as possible Gulf, I promise. I will look for you. My team members said they will help me to find the ways as well. Or even if I can’t, when the war is over, we will be together again. I can stay with you here or you can come to me there. I-I will do everything to be with you Gulf. Please believe me,” Mew said desperately trying to convey his feelings and Gulf touched his face understandingly and said, “I will always wait for you P’Mew. Please come back to me as soon as possible. But you have to promise me you will stay safe and do not make irrational decisions. I will always love you and I promise I will only ever love you Pi,” Gulf said hugging Mew and trying to convey his own feelings as well. And Mew understood everything. After hours passed, Mew asked Gulf to stand under the tree to take a photograph of the boy he loves so much.

(Gulf's Photo)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1245270031346302976/photo/4>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm so sad writing these parts. My babies have suffered so much. I'm so sorry.  
> Also, I added Mew's dream because I want to portray Mew's subconscious mind.He was still in the stage of accepting that he had to leave Gulf. But he wanted to be with Gulf so much, his subconscious mind created a happy dream to console himself  
> Also, I couldn't put sad but smiling Gulfie's photo. So, let's enjoy imagining the boy is this happy when the photo was taken.  
> Also, photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	9. My Heart & My Soul Belong To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what a cruel thing is war  
> to separate and destroy families and friends,  
> and mar the purest joys and happiness  
> \- Robert E. Lee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

When the day Mew and the research team had to leave Siam came, everyone was feeling sad and painful. But nobody would understand the pain and hopelessness Mew felt. Gulf came and stayed with him at the bungalow after he took the photo because none of them were able to stay separated even for a second. The research team understood the two lovers and gave them space. They laid on Mew’s bed without saying anything, just hugged each other so tight and shared small and soft kisses. They shared promises and hoped for a day where they could be together forever. They didn’t sleep the whole night, basking in each other’s presence.

In the morning, they had to leave the bungalow to go to the train station. He hugged Gulf and hold his hand so tight in the jeep trying not to break down again. When they arrived to the train station, Mew saw Gulf’s family waiting for them at the platform and he felt a fresh wave of sadness. Mew was already attached to Gulf’s family even if he didn’t know them for a long time because they were as lovely as Gulf. Mew hugged Gulf’s family members and the two little siblings were crying knowing Mew had to leave. Before the train came, Mew hugged Gulf and told him, “Write to me Gulf. You know my address. I will write to you too. I already asked Kom to help you with delivery of the letter. And remember. This is not the goodbye. We are going to meet again and we will be happy again.” Mew saw Gulf was already a sobbing mess but Mew hold his tears in, trying not to make this even more unbearable for Gulf. The team members called and Mew heard the train was going to depart. He hugged Gulf and kissed his forehead before slowly backing away to step inside the train. He looked at Gulf from the train door when the train started moving.

Once the train departed, Mew waved at sobbing Gulf who was being hugged by his parents. Mew felt tears filling up his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. _“No,”_ he told himself, _“I don’t want to remember a blurry vision of Gulf. I wanted to keep a clear picture inside my head and my heart. You can’t cry now, Mew. You can’t cry now,”_ Mew looked at Gulf until the train was very far and he couldn’t even see a tiny spot of Gulf anymore.

Mew walked to his seat in the train but before reaching there, he broke down on the floor of the aisle. The immense pain wrecked his whole body and he dropped down on the passage way between the row of seats in a sitting position, and he cried. He cried because he didn’t even know if he would ever see his love again. He cried because of the cruel fate playing a joke on them. And he cried because he couldn’t do anything other than crying his heart out. He knew his team members were plopping on the floor, sitting around to console him. Someone hugged him, he didn’t know if it was Sara or James. He didn’t know anything other than the daggers sliding through his heart. He cried until he can’t feel anything but the throbbing pain in his head and his heart. He only remembered one thing before his conscious mind slipped away. He might be heading back to London but his soul and heart, he left them at a little village in Siam in the hands of a boy with innocent eyes and gorgeous smile.

Once he reached London, Mew wrote a short letter to Gulf informing he reached safe and sound. He waited for Gulf’s reply until he received the letter a week later. Mew was over the moon reading the letter his little one wrote. Gulf told him he missed him and he and his family is healthy. Gulf asked Mew if he could send him a photograph of Mew so he could look at it whenever he missed him. Needless to say Mew took a photo and developed the film within a day to reply to Gulf. They wrote to each other every week and Gulf told him about his cat, Ju, his siblings, the farm work, the Japanese troops and the news about Thai young men having to serve the Army. Gulf told him he might have to enlist since he was the only one eligible for enlistment in his family. Mew was worried sick knowing the war was not kind to anyone. But Mew told Gulf to keep in contact even if he had to go to Army and Gulf promised he would.

But the letter stopped coming after January 25th when the war became intense and Britain decided to cut off all the communication including postal services with Siam. Mew tried everything and every way with the help of Daniel, Edward, James and Sara to get contact with Gulf. He went embassy to embassy, places to places to get a slight contact or news about Gulf. The last news he got was through the contact of Edward. Edward said Gulf, Kom and a lot of young men had to enlist for allied troops and the names of the soldiers were confidential so he had no way of knowing if Gulf was still in the army alive or not. Mew was devastated with the news but he kept his hope up and carried on thinking the war would end one day and he could meet Gulf again. Mew protected the letters and a black and white photograph of Gulf with his life, looking at them everyday and thinking back to the happy memories he had with his love in a little village in Siam.

(Mew's House in London)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1245503983655030784/photo/3>

(Mew's Photo sent to Gulf)

<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1245503983655030784/photo/4>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to this (https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1245504949766815746) when I was writing. I imagined Mew sitting beside a fireplace to admire the photo of Gulf and read the letters from him again and again everyday. If this is a movie, this song would have played in the background.
> 
> Photos and videos are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


	10. True Love Will Never End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not ready to finish this AU. I've become too attached to the characters and I love their love, pure and innocent yet intense and loyal. Please comment to let me know what you think. All your encouragements are the ones that keep me going.
> 
> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

**A night before Christmas in 1972**

Mew adopted two children from Siam who were the victims of war and lost their parents during WW2. All his children had already grown up and lived with their spouses in London. But every Christmas, they would visit Mew and stayed with him until New Year. He saw some of his grandchildren playing in the living room and looked at the clock. He told his elder daughter, “Jane, dad is going upstairs to read a book. Please call me when the dinner is ready. Where is John?”. His daughter answered, “Dad, John is in the garden with my eldest trying to teach her basic botany.” Mew smiled and said, “I have children botany books in my bookshelf. If Kate likes them, you can take some for her to read”. “Yes dad. Do you need some tea? I can bring it for you in a while,” his daughter said. “Sure, thank you” Mew said and headed upstairs to his reading room to continue reading a book he just started yesterday.

In the reading room, he took out the book from the bookshelf and sat down at his desk. Before he opened the book, Mew looked at the photograph in a frame on his reading desk. Looking at Gulf’s smile in the photo always gave him the strength to carry on. He always regretted he didn’t take a photo together with Gulf. In his mind, he knew there was little to no chance Gulf would survived in the war but he still had a silver of hope and thought, “ _My innocent boy, my little one. I pray everyday you are smiling somewhere and living your happy life. You should be having a family too and raising beautiful and warm-hearted children like yourself. I hope you would still remember me and my heart that will always belong to you. I hope fate can let us meet once again so I can take a photo together with you. I wish to know how we would look together in a photograph, smiling side by side._ ”

He cut off his thought and tried to concentrate on the book he was trying to read. He picked up the book that was about Thailand’s tradition and culture. He noticed a picture on a page. It was an elephant. He smiled remembering the time when Gulf promised him he will make him a clay elephant but forgot about it. Mew smiled with a little tear in his eyes but blinked a couple of times to chase the tear away. He had cried enough for more than 30 years and now he needed to concentrate on living and doing charity work in his remaining years of life. At that time, he heard a knock on his door and his daughter came in with a tea cup. “Thank you Jane,” Mew said. Jane noticed Mew’s glistening eyes when putting the tea cup on the table. “Are you missing Mr. Gulf again?” his daughter asked softly. Mew looked at her and smiled, “I might always be missing him but I’m used to it now. Now go back and finish cooking. The children must be hungry.” “Ok dad. Just…” his daughter hesitated, “Just want you to be happy.”

Mew loved his children so much and they were his pillars during the dark times of his life. After WW2 subsided in 1946, Mew immediately travelled back to Siam to look for Gulf and his family but there was no news. He looked for Gulf for years and drown in sadness everyday of his life. Gulf took a big part of his heart and he thought he couldn’t survive without him in his life. Then, he met two little siblings, a girl and a boy, in Siam whose parents passed away during the war. When Mew learned they needed someone to adopt them urgently, he couldn’t turn away. With a responsibility, Mew tried to overcome his sadness and tried to be a good father to his children. It’s true that he saved them but they saved him too. Mew didn’t get married. He was unable to love anyone after giving his heart to Gulf completely. But he dedicated his life to his children and he found happiness in them again. Mew told his daughter genuinely, “I’m happy Jane.” His daughter smiled but he can see some tears in her eyes. “Ok dad. I will see you later downstairs.” Jane said and went out, closing the door behind her. Mew sipped the tea his daughter prepared, looked at the photograph one last time, and focused back on his book to continue reading.

**26th January 2019 In Thailand**

“Oh crap!” Mew shouted looking at his clock. “What happened?”, his mom asked from outside of his room. She knocked and entered. “Mom, I’m so screwed. I forgot about the audition today, I am really late now.” Mew said. His mom looked at him sympathetically and said, “It’s ok. You can still go and check if they are still on going.” Mew thought, “ _I might not even pass this audition. What’s the point in going if I’m just going to fail?_ ”

But then he remembered his fanclub. His fans told him they will wait for him at the audition venue. Also, he felt something strange. Something he can’t describe. It’s like a nudge at the back of his mind that he should be at the audition today no matter what. He mustered up the courage and contacted the staff team from the casting. He asked them if he can still come and they said yes, he will have enough time. He felt relieved, quickly prepared and headed out to the audition place.

Mew saw his fans first at the audition venue and felt extremely happy that a lot of people came and supported him. He quickly signed up and waited for his turn. Inside the venue, he felt the strange feeling again. “ _What is it_?” Mew thought and looked around. Then, his eyes were drawn to someone, a boy to be exact. He didn’t know why but he was curious about the good-looking boy with a tough expression. He seemed to be in a corner playing with his phone and surrounded by 4-5 people who looked like his bodyguards. Mew didn’t think much and tried rehearsing his lines again and again in his mind. When his turn came, he went inside the room. He had to enact the scene with different people who auditioned as a partner of his character.

Then, the cast team called him in to cast for the main character the next day. He was a bit confused but accepted anyway to come for a second day. On second day, after several hours, the boy he saw yesterday, who looked like he might beat up Mew if he ever stared at him, entered to the audition room where Mew would be auditioning. He introduced himself as Gulf and he realized the boy auditioned as a character that is a lover of the main character Mew was auditioning. They were given a plot to enact the roles. Mew had experience so he easily executed the scene. But what he didn’t expect is for the boy in front of him to turn red. His eyes were wide and Mew saw his ears became so red. Mew was pleasantly surprised to see the tough looking boy becoming an innocent baby in front of him. The staff team seemed to be satisfied with their performance and told them to wait outside for the results. They thanked and said goodbye to the audition team and headed out.

Once outside, Mew found the boy went back to his corner. He felt a bit disappointed because strangely, he wanted to talk to him. He cut off his thoughts quickly and went back to his fanclub. They talked for a while and one of the fans asked him who he liked as a partner during the audition and without much thought, he answered “Gulf”. The fanclub was excited and cheered at that saying they also had their eyes on the boy. And out of nowhere, the boy was walking to Mew and he noticed one of his fans might have asked the boy to come. He smiled at Gulf and in return Gulf smiled back. He was slightly taken aback by how beautiful and innocent Gulf looked when he was smiling. They exchanged pleasantries and one of the fans asked if they could take a photograph of them together. When Mew turned to look at Gulf to ask, he found him already smiling at him and nodding. Right at that moment, Mew felt a warm feeling engulfing his heart and his whole being felt at peace, a feeling he’s never had before. It’s like he’s found something he’s lost for a long time. Mew smiled back to the boy with bambi eyes and innocent smile. They faced in front to pose for the camera and Mew heard the camera clicked by his fanclub. And like that, they took their first photograph together.

**_THE END_ **

**_Ending Video: Please check out. It's an important video made in celebration of past MewGulf's Love. Thank You._ **

**_<https://mobile.twitter.com/mewgulfie7/status/1245569328277123074> _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with this AU until the end everyone.I really cannot thank enough to everyone who dm-ed, quote tweeted, or commented with encouragements. All of you are my personal heroes. I hope you are not disappointed with this AU and I’d be happy to hear your comments. 
> 
> Also, please please go to this link to check the ending video. 
> 
> It is a very important video. I made it in celebration of the love between past Mew and Gulf. Although the photos are current MewGulf, there are some parts that reflected past MewGulf and how they’d be so happy together if they’ve ever had a chance to be reunited in that timeline.
> 
> Please follow me on twitter for future AUs. Thank you again everyone. I love you all <3


	11. Chapter 9.5 : Jai (Gulf's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an extra chapter during the timeline after Mew left to London based on the letters exchanged between Mew & Gulf. 
> 
> //WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH// >> I'm sorry for writing this part but I wanted to portray the realistic situation. The war was never kind to humanity and we should understand the lives of people who suffered through war. Hope you could understand my intention. Thanks babies. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please follow and interact with me on twitter. 
> 
> My Twitter : @mewgulfie7

**_"Imagine the time when the war is over and we are living together... would it not be better to live on from now on the memory of our life together when it was at its most golden pitch." - Gordon Bowsher, February 1st 1941_ **

(The quote was based on a letter exchanged between two lovers during WW2. The lovers were two men)

On the day of Mew’s departure from Siam, Gulf went back home and lied on the hard floor of the bedroom he shared with his little brother and sobbed his heart out until he can’t feel his eyes. His siblings were around to hug him, they themselves are crying as well, not knowing the intensity of pain Gulf felt but still feeling the sadness seeing their strong big brother’s miserable cries. The parents were looking at the three siblings on the floor with each of their own tears in their eyes as well.

Gulf tried to overcome it though, partly because he hoped he would meet Mew again and another part was to carry on with his responsibilities for his family. He prayed everyday for Mew’s safe arrival to London. He waited for Mew’s letter from Kom and when he had time after work, he would go to the end of the village to sit down at the tree they usually had lunch together. He remembered the time Mew accidentally confessed to him, he remembered the time when they had their first kiss, he remembered the time they cried together because they have to be separated and he remembered the time when Mew took a photo of him under this tree and he tried so hard to smile through tears so that Mew would have a happy photo of him. He remembered each and every moments vividly and he smiled with a bittersweet feeling that this trees knew a lot of their secrets. Perhaps more than anyone. And maybe, one day, when they get married, he wanted this tree to be a witness of their love.

Kom ran to him one day with a letter in his hand and Gulf’s heart was jumping inside. He wiped his dirty hands and took the letter with two hands shakily. He plopped down on the ground of the farmland he was working at, and opened the letter carefully. His eyes teared up when he saw the first sentence of the letter written by his love,

_“Dear my little one……_

Gulf learned from the letter that Mew arrived to London safe and sound together with the team members. London was relatively safe, not much affected by the war. Mew also talked about the soil science books he left with Gulf and told Gulf to write to him if he wanted explanations. Gulf smiled and thought Mew must have been serious when he told him he would be tutoring Gulf for the lifetime since he stole many expensive kisses. Gulf quickly wrote a letter back to Mew using his little siblings’ paper and pencil

_“My dear P’Mew,_

_I’m so happy to receive your letter Pi. I pray everyday for your safe arrival to London. I heard from Kom that transportations are interrupted in Siam due to war. So, I was worried but I’m glad you’re home safely._

_And I miss you so much Pi. How I wish you could be right here with me. I wish I could see and touch your face just to make sure you are safe and sound. You shouldn’t be crying too much too, you crybaby. We’re going to meet again. Also, my family and I am healthy. My little siblings have to stop going to school because we heard it’s not safe due to war happening in nearby villages. But our village is very peaceful thanks to our chief._

_I still work but not so much. It’s ok though because everyone helps out each other here and we have all the necessities. And I have more time to study about soil science. The books you left are very useful but I have some confusion. So, I need your tutoring service since you are indebted to me._

_I sometimes go and sit at our tree. Oh, and I named it. It’s called “Jai” because it knows about us, and our hearts for each other. Before I forget, can you send me your photograph, Pi? I just want to have a physical memory of you and I can look at it until the day we meet again._

_I love you so much Pi. Stay healthy and stay happy. Write to me soon whenever you can._

_Your little one,_

_G_

Gulf quickly sealed the letter and gave it to Kom and wait for days to receive another letter from his love. He thought even though they were apart from each other, they were still able to feel each other’s presence. He still felt like he was in Mew’s arms whenever he was with Jai. He would sometimes sit there for as long as possible to take in the warm from Jai as if his Pi was there. 

When he received the second letter from Mew with a small black and white photograph, he was jumping up and down, showing his handsome lover’s photo to Kom and his family. His siblings were amazed with it because they had never seen a photograph before. Gulf didn’t let anyone touch it though. He was scared the photo would be tainted if it was touched. He put it safely in between the pages of his favourite soil science book Mew gave him. He ran across the village to Jai with the book, the paper and a pencil to write back to his Pi. He was emotionally connected to Jai as if he believed the tree was a thread that connected him to his lover.

Gulf looked at the photos and smiled. He always thought his love was handsome but in the photo, his Pi looked more handsome than ever. He gave a sweet kiss to the photo and giggled cause he felt naughty doing that. He felt a warm feeling whenever he thought about his Pi although there was always a little longing accompanying with it. He told, “I miss him Jai. I know he is missing me too. I cant wait for the day to meet him again. I hope you will still be around by then. You better be.” And he wrote a long letter to his Pi telling him about every trivial things of his life.

Gulf heard the news from Kom that allied troops were recruiting soldiers and they may have to serve the Army under government order. He was worried not because of the hard life of a soldier but because he didn’t know if he can still write to his Pi giving that he would be at the enemy troops of Britain. He wrote a quick letter to Mew telling him about this news, also telling him not to worry and he might not have to serve at all. And he prayed that was not the case.

However, his prayers were not answered when he was told that he and a lot of young men had to registered to serve the Army. He quickly wrote a letter to Mew to inform him of the news but Kom returned on the same day from the city with a down-casted face to tell him that all the postal services between Siam and Western countries were shut down. Gulf was devastated and didn’t know the ways to contact his Pi. But Kom promised he would find ways for him. After several weeks later, he was assigned to a military based together with Pat. Kom was assigned to different military base but they still keep in contact by letters.

Gulf was an empty shell without his Pi’s presence but he carried on thinking he would still meet his Pi again if he survived this war. The trainings were hard but he tried his best and he was even recognised as the best comrade in the camp. Gulf kept Mew’s photograph safely in the soil science book he brought with him to the camp. He looked at it secretly everyday and prayed for Mew’s health and happiness. He didn’t get any news about Mew since the shut down of communication channel between Siam and Britain and he was wondering if his Pi would be crying. He eyes filled up with tears whenever he thought about his love but he quickly blinked it away.

During the Japanese conquest of Burma, the military troops Gulf was in had to march to Shan States under Thai Phayap Army. Unfortunately, there was a serious malaria outbreak during the trip and the troops had to delay the march and set up the camp on the way to treat the sick soldiers. Death toll among soldiers rose due to insufficient medical staff and medicine. Gulf already knew he had malaria when he felt headaches and fever. He ran to the assigned doctor and the doctor gave him some medicines.

The medicine didn’t work and Gulf’s fever didn’t subside. And Gulf already knew in his mind that he might not survive the illness. Gulf was lying on the bed one day battling fever and headaches that attacked him whenever he tried to sleep. He thought, _“I wonder what you are doing now, Pi. I hope you are doing well and doing something you love. I miss you so much especially now because I don’t know if I will survive this illness but I’m trying to fight it Pi.”_ Strangely, with the thought of his love, Gulf’s headache subsided a little and he gathered all his strength to get up from bed to walk to a little table where he kept his papers and books.

Gulf took the paper and pencil to write perhaps his last letter to his one and only love.

_“My dearest Pi,_

_I’m writing this letter to you now because I don’t know if I could ever write to you again. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again. I wanted to survive Pi and I tried my best. But the war is not kind to us. I’m writing because I might not survive this war and I want to tell you everything because I might not have a chance again._

_My P’Mew, my love, I want you to be happy Pi. I want you to live a happy life and I want you to learn to love again. I want you to smile everyday because I love your smile so much. You should also always take care of yourself and never make any irrational decision. Promise me you’ll stay safe and healthy, Pi._

_Remember the moments we were happy. And I want only the memories of a happy me to be with you. Because I am happy. I am happy that I met you and receive your love. Even if everything is lost, I still have my love for you and your love for me. And that’s enough._

_And after receiving this letter, please let me go and live your life. If it’s meant to be, we will meet again Pi. Until then._

_I love you._

_Your little one,_

_G_

Gulf took the small black and white photograph from his soil science book and looked at it for the last time. He smiled and kissed the photograph to put it in the envelop together with the letter. He saw Pat walked in to bring Gulf water and asked him to send the letter to Kom who was in different military base. Pat promised he would send the letter as soon as possible and asked if Gulf was feeling better. Gulf gave him a weak smile and drank the water he brought. Pat had to return to training and Gulf told him he could stay alone by himself. After Pat left, Gulf walked slowly to his bed.

Gulf was lying on his bed thinking, perhaps, after today, he will wake up, open his eyes, and he will start a new day. He might also be walking to a place to meet his love to whom he gave his everything to. And he will fulfil all the promises he gave to his love. The thought brought a smile on his face and he remembered all the happy memories he had with his Pi. He looked at the ceiling of the tent and took a long breath. And he closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone. And this chapter is dedicated to Jai. Jai is the one who witnessed their love and will protect them for as long as possible like a tree. If you are wondering who is Jai, please look at the mirror. I love you Waanjais.


	12. Chapter Forever: Our Love Will Live On~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a spin-off from my WW2 AU, "I Keep My Love in a Photograph". This chapter focused on Mew's POV of how he felt during 1940s when looking for Gulf and the moment when he received "The Last Letter"

1st January 1973

“Dad! James and Sara are here.” Mew heard his daughter calling from the downstairs and saw James and Sara coming into his reading room. “What a pleasant surprise! I thought two of you are travelling this year,” Mew said after greetings his two best friends. “We are. But we came back just in time to celebrate new year with everyone. How are you Mew?” Sara asked. “I’m good. I’m travelling next month,” Mew said with a smile. “To the village?” James asked and Mew nodded. “The school I built there needed some renovations and I’m going to check. Jane and her children are coming with me to visit too,” Mew said while sipping on the tea his daughter served. “Sounds exciting,” James said but Mew knew he wanted to say something else. “What is it James?” Mew asked. “A-about Gulf. Have you heard any more news about him or his family?” James asked hesitantly. Mew smiled at him and shook his head gently.

February 1946 in Siam

Mew got down from the train. Siam was as hot as before. The Anglo-Thai Peace Treaty was signed on 1 January 1946 and Thailand had become a safe region again for Britain and other western countries after the war. Once the news spread, Mew bought a ticket to Siam to search for his love. When he got to Gulf’s village after getting off from the Jeep, he felt his heart broke with the view. The once beautiful and lively village is ruined by the war. The burnt and destroyed cottages gave Mew an ugly feeling. He asked someone on the way where the village chief is and he walked over to the temporary living quarters where most the returned villagers were living.

When the village chief saw Mew, he was happy and greeted Mew. “Sir, I’m so glad to see you again,” he said while passing Mew tea. “I’m glad to see you again too, Chief. I’m so sorry about the village. And I’m here to look for Gulf and his family. D-do you have any news about them?” Mew asked expectedly. His heart felt heavy though when he saw the chief sighed and shook his head. “I-I’m sorry. Gulf had to enlist together with other young men from our village. Some returned but a lot lost their lives or just moved somewhere. We don’t have Gulf back and we haven’t heard any of his news. His family fled the village too and never returned. So, I don’t know if they settled in another place or they…,” the village chief stopped and Mew saw he was tearing up.

Mew felt tears in his eyes, too. All he wants was to see Gulf just one more time. It doesn’t matter if the boy has a new life or a new family. He just wanted to know Gulf is alive and happy. But he found nothing. After he left the village, he went to places to places to find the love of his life. He travelled across places from military bases to the offices that have records of soldiers. The last news he heard about Gulf was that he and other young men from the village marched with Phayap Army. There were several deaths due to Malaria and there were fallen soldiers in the battlefield as well. Every news left a scar on Mew’s heart and took his soul away little by little.

One day, he drunk a little too much and walked back to the inn he currently lives, in coherent steps. He was never a heavy drinker or enjoy alcohol except for social occasions. But this time round, he drown himself because he just wanted to forget for a while. The pain he felt waiting and missing his love is unbearable sometimes. Gulf was the only reason he opens his eyes everyday to search for him. But with little to no hope of ever finding his love, he lost his will to live. He stopped replying to letters from his family and friends. He was just waiting for the day he stopped breathing and maybe, maybe then he can reunite with his love. He doesn’t have the strength to carry on so, he sat on the steps in front of the inn. The sky turned darker and the raindrops started falling.

“Are you crying too?” Mew asked the sky. “I-I can’t live on. I have no reason to stay. Please take me to him, please,” his heart cries. But then, in his blurry eyes, he saw two small figures in the rain. He realised they are two children hugging each other and crying. Mew looked around and found there were no adults beside them. He felt sober and walked towards the children to check. The children looked like they were terrified so he tried his best approach them slowly. He stopped himself a few feet away from the children and squatted down to make himself in the eye level of them. “Hey, are you lost? Do you need help finding your parents?” The two children looked at each other and nodded.

Then Mew saw someone running over to the children. It was a nun, presumably from a nearby church. “Jane and John, where did you disappear to? I was so worried,” the nun said embracing the children. The two little children cried and Mew felt relief someone was there. “I was going to help them to find their parents,” Mew said and the nun looked at him. “Thank you so much for keeping them safe, Sir. I am from the church down the street. We took them in because they lost their parents during war,” the nun said. “Oh,” Mew remembered the two siblings of Gulf when looking at the orphan siblings. “Will Gulf’s siblings face the same fate if Gulf’s parents passed away?” Mew thought and felt his heart tightened. “I want them to have a happy family, living a normal life,” he thought looking at the back of the children who were returning to the church.

Mew visited the church the next day because he felt strangely attached to the two siblings. He learned the two children needed a family urgently. The church was taking care of orphan children but it’s difficult with the increasing numbers and limited resources. Mew was sitting at the back of the church looking at the photo of Gulf in his wallet when Jane and John approached him. “H-hi Sir,” the little girl said nervously. Mew smiled at her. “Is this your friend Sir?” the boy asked. “No, he is someone special,” Mew said, looking at the photo. He felt tears in his eyes but he blinked them several times, not wanting to cry in front of the children.

Then, he felt Jane touched his hand and said, “Y-you should cry if you miss him. We cry when we miss our parents too. After crying, we feel better,” Jane said innocently. But those words hit Mew like a storm and he broke down. The two children hugged him from the sides and he was hanging on to them like his life depended on them. Maybe Jane was right. Maybe he will feel better after crying. Maybe he will feel better when the time comes. Gulf may not be around him and perhaps may never come back to him. He may never be able to live with him but he wants to live for him. He wanted to live as Gulf, who is responsible, selfless and kind. Gulf would adopt these children without hesitation and Mew’s decided he will take care of them on behalf of Gulf. From that moment, he found a reason to carry on.

February 1973 in London

Mew received a call from Daniel on a week before his travel to Thailand. Daniel was currently working in Thailand and he was the point of contact for Mew about any news in Thailand. “Hello Daniel, how are you?” Mew asked, thinking Daniel was calling him to ask him about his travel next week. “Mew! I got a news,” Daniel’s voice shakes slightly. “Kom, he visited me and passed me a letter,” Daniel continued. “A letter?” Mew asked. “Yes, a letter. From Gulf. To you,” Daniel said and Mew felt like he stopped breathing for a moment. “D-Daniel, I..” Mew didn’t know what he should say. He couldn’t even breathe properly. “I know, Mew. I know. Please breathe and calm down. I will keep the letter safe until you’re here next week. Let’s talk about this then, ok?” Daniel consoled Mew and Mew blinked his tears away, remembering the love of his life.

February 1973 in Thailand

Mew hold the letter in his trembling hands. The envelop had turned yellow and the edges were slightly ripped. It’s evident the letter had gone through several years wandering before it reached to its rightful owner. “Kom told me he received the letter a few months ago and he searched for you and me until he found me here. Gulf passed the letter to him through Pat but Pat passed away during the battle. So the letter was kept by another soldier until he found Kom months ago and passed it to him. Kom said sorry that he delivered the letter so late. He wanted to meet you but he had to go back to his village. Maybe you can meet him next time,” Daniel said but Mew was just looking at the letter. The letter from his love. The last remaining connection he has with Gulf is in his hand.

“T-Thank you Daniel. Please tell Kom not to blame himself. It’s not his fault. It’s no one’s fault. It’s our fate. But I’m happy the letter isn’t lost,” Mew said and blinked away the tears. “I- I need to go now to visit the school,” Mew said. “Ok, see you later Mew,” Daniel said softly understanding Mew’s pain. “Bye Daniel,” Mew smiled and left with his daughter to visit the village. Mew walked around to check the renovation work for the school and he greeted the village chief and everyone. The letter was safely put inside the pocket of his jacket. Once the things were settled, Mew walked over the end of village with his daughter. He sat under the tree, Jai, and looked towards the horizon of the sky. “Jane, you can go back to the village. I want to be alone for a while,” Mew said and he saw his daughter looked at him worriedly but didn’t say anything.  
After his daughter left, Mew took out the letter from his pocket and opened it gently to read. After reading, he felt a soft smile on his face. His little one was the bravest soul he’s ever known. Selfless and love without expectation. Mew felt lucky that he was the recipient for such kind of love. Gulf was not around him but Mew always felt his love surrounded to him and that was one of the reasons why he is still living and breathing. Mew touched the words from the letter softly and feeling strangely peaceful.

From a distance, he heard a Thai traditional song. The village was having a bonfire and they were singing folk songs. Mew smiled and thought the song lyrics suited Gulf because he was Mew’s star. He was far away and unreachable but he guided Mew through the darkest of his times. Mew saw the sun setting and turning the sky deep blue. He closed his eyes for a while to listen to the song carried through the wind.

Mew opened his eyes and saw a halo of someone walking towards him. He was holding a bouquet and wearing an elegant suit. Mew recognised he was in a forest standing and there was a flower arch and a priest. This strangely reminds him of the dream he had when he first discovered his love for Gulf. Mew looked towards the halo again and the figure became clearer when he was near to Mew. It was Gulf and he was smiling at Mew. Mew felt tears in his eyes. He doesn’t know if it’s a dream or the glimpse of the next life. But all he knows is that their love will live on for a long long time. Perhaps, forever. Mew smiled and opened his arms to welcome Gulf, his love, his life and his forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to post photos and videos so I linked them to my twitter posts. They are quite important for readers to visualise the situation. So, I strongly encourage you to click the links and visit twitters to check the visuals. Thanks.  
> Also, please let me know your comments and feedback everyone. Thank you. :)


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